


When Our Worlds Collide

by parkjinchu



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Celebrity, Alternate Universe - Music, Alternate Universe - Photographer, M/M, Music, i have so many ideas and plans for this i hope you like ti
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-02
Updated: 2016-12-12
Packaged: 2018-07-28 22:38:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 37,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7659589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/parkjinchu/pseuds/parkjinchu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan Howell - World's Pop Prince, the most famous male pop idol in the entire world. He often wishes for a life with more normality - without the confinements that fame brings. In a quick escape, Dan finds himself in a small village where he meets Phil Lester, a photographer. In a twist of fate, they're both whirled into each other's lives, learning more about each other and the way their lives work.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! So, as some of you may know, I've been travelling a little lately. I was inspired to write this fic, and it spiralled uncontrollably into this with my procrastination abilities. I really hope you enjoy this fic. 
> 
> \-- can you tell i adore famous singer!dan and photographer!phil aus?? if this is your first fic of mine, check out Your Courage, My Heart, bc it has the same AU written differently >U

The video checks in as _UPLOADING: 100%_ and Dan pulls his desk chair back a little and slumps into the cushioning. He’s tired, _so_ tired – it dawns upon him, as he rests his head back and his heavy eyelids fall shut. The collective group of people in the room, circled around the laptop, a plate of cupcakes and empty boxes of Chinese Take Out, all let out an exhausted but happy cheer.

Dan cracks a smile, excited for the next few months of what’s to come. He grabs a party cracker from the centre of the table and snaps the string back, igniting the tiny streamers into the air with a pop. “To the new album!” He cries, lifting his glass of apple juice from the table and holding it in the air, triumphantly.

Giggles echo throughout the room and everyone replies with the same. A few congratulations follow, but Dan passes them off – it’s all thanks to them, after all. His group of organisers, recorders, photographers, managers, so on and so forth, all helped him put his album together, which was released no less than five minutes ago.

Dan Howell had been working on this album, _All for You_ , non-stop for the past few months. Ducking in and out of photoshoots and music video filming, answering tonnes of very similar questions in interviews, and writing and recording his music – it had all come down to this moment. He could already see the statistics rising on the page: one million views and counting.

He blushed – he’d never really gotten over the attention. He had fans all over the world; he was even considered to be the ‘World’s Pop Prince’.

Dan Howell was the cutest, sweetest, and most down-to-earth male pop singer out there. He was adored by the entire world, and it still took him by surprise when his stadium shows sold out and he won awards. His pink and pastel persona had everyone blushing, along with his curly brown hair and squishy cheeks.

Dan absolutely loved his job. Whether he was performing on stage, talking to his fans, filming videos or writing songs, he loved every little bit of it. It had its downsides, though, just like everything in life. His main concern, was his personal life.

When he became famous, his personal life was almost eradicated. Nothing is secret when you’re known world-wide. He can’t leave his house or hotel or walk the streets, without being hounded by paparazzi. Sometimes, all he craves is a day of normality, when everyone else’s reality becomes his own, too.

 

+

PJ and Phil sit on opposite ends of the couch, flicking through the early morning channels. PJ only lasts mere seconds on the World News channels, and Phil doesn’t feel like watching TV-Shopping. His cereal has gone mushy in the milk, and he pushes it around with his spoon, grimace present on his features.

PJ sighs, giving up and switching back to a morning show. Two presenters sit in the centre of the screen, a man and a woman, and they discuss the latest news in Pop-Culture. Phil isn’t at all listening to anything they say, but a name perks his interest, suddenly, and his eyes flicker back to the screen.

Dan Howell appears on screen, apparently with a new music video, _and_ album. He dances around in a field of tall grass and pink, budding flowers (Phil tries to take note of this location and find one similar later; this would be a fantastic spot for photoshoots). His voices mimes along to the lyrics, and words flash below the screen, _Dan Howell has officially released brand new album,_ All for You _._ Phil finds himself blushing, as the cute boy sings songs of love and dances playfully on screen.

PJ is smiling, readily letting the catchy tune slip inside his head, ready to repeat itself over and over all day. An earworm, one that might not be quite so annoying, for once. “You know,” he begins, looking to Phil, “I never thought I’d say this, but I actually quite like this Howell guy. He’s cool.”

Phil finds himself agreeing.

“Also, Chris and Louise are coming over later.” He explains, wandering into the kitchen with his empty, crumb dusted plate. “Just thought I’d let you know.”

 

+

Dan’s splayed out on his hotel bed. Having only gotten three hours of sleep after the midnight release, he’s frustrated to have woken up. He groans, rolling over and checking the time, _6:27_.

Rolling out of bed, he heaves himself into the living area of the hotel room, where Heidi, his manager and close confidant, sits cross-legged on the lounge. Her hair is tied up lazily and messily, and she checks various things over her ever buzzing phone, laptop, and clipboards. A plate of oven heated pizza crusts sits discarded on the coffee table. Dan makes his way over and sits opposite her, grabbing one and chewing on it, “You should eat these bits.”

When she looks up, he’s sure his eyes are just as tired as hers. Faint purple rings line the underside of Heidi’s eyes, and mascara runs around the rim messily. She smiles, greeting him a good morning. “You feeling energised?” She jokes, and prods his cheeks with her pen. Her phone alerts her again, and she hurriedly checks a tick on a page, bolded title, **INTERVIEWS**.

He glances down, sighing and rolling his eyes. “You’re kidding?” He flops back, “I _need_ a break, Heidi,” he whines, pushing his feet against her thigh. He does need a break, after all. It’s been a busy year, an even busier month, and an even busier week. Dan knows, after album release he has a lot of publicity measures he has to attend to, but _God_ , the world can wait a _day_ , right?

She chuckles half-heartedly, resting her hand on his shin. “You think, after all this work, I’d make you dive straight into it all again?” She asks, eyebrows raised, but a cheeky grin on her face, “Just who do you think I am, Daniel?”

He shoots upwards, sitting up stick-straight. “You mean… I can have a day off?” He asks, suddenly very excited. He bounces up and down on the couch, clutching her hand in his own.

“On one condition,” She warns, “You get sleep. Because tomorrow, you’ve got a whole lot of interviews, a performance, _and_ a meet and greet signing. You gotta look as fresh as you did before you stepped on the singing scene,” she giggles, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

“Of course, I’ll do nothing _but_ sleep,” he laughs. “Thank you so, so much, Heidi!” He’s already darting around the room collecting his stuff. Heidi informs him that his driver is ready and waiting downstairs, to take him back home, and before Dan knows it, he’s in the elevator on the way down to the lobby.

He has large sunglasses on for two reasons – one, to disguise his tired eyes. Two, to prepare for the oncoming wave of paparazzi. He drags his suitcase outside, when a wave of people with microphones, notepads, and flashing cameras greet him outside. He hates this – this crowding as they push and shove each other to get as close to him as possible. Dan Howell fakes a smile, and pushes past them. Finally entering his car, he slams the door shut and relaxes into the seat, watching as their faces squished up against the tinted windows, hoping to hear from him.

 

+

Louise pushes herself through the door, running into the living room. Phil jumps in surprise as she dances around the room, screeching something he can’t quite decipher right now. Chris follows along, and the two of them dance in sync, bright grins stretching both of their faces. It takes him a moment to realise, but they’re blasting music from Louise’s phone, and dancing along to it.

PJ walks into the room from the kitchen, a handtowel strewn over his shoulder. “What…?” He begins, is too stunned at the scene to continue. Louise and Chris are bouncing around the room, trying to get the words right as they sing along to a bubbly pop song. “What’s going on?” He asks Phil, over the noise the other two are making.

Phil opens his mouth to reply, but Louise answers before him, running up to PJ with a manic grin. “You didn’t know?!” She almost squeals, “Dan Howell released his new album last night!” She bounces up and down, and Chris screeches for emphasis, echoing her excitement. Before Phil or PJ know it, they’re back in the living room, dancing.

“Keep it down, the neighbours will have a fit!” PJ warns, but he has a huge smile on his face as he watches his friends bop along.

“I didn’t know you guys liked Dan Howell so much,” Phil admits.

Suddenly, Louise and Chris are swarming him. “We _love_ Dan Howell!” They cry in unison, shoving the phone by his ear and forcing him to listen to the new tune. The song changes before Phil can listen properly, and Chris whines, “This song is sad – change it!”

“No,” Louise argues. She’s about to tell him to appreciate each and every song on the twelve track album, but Phil interrupts her.

“Yeah; I wanna hear the new album, too,” he mutters, and Louise’s eyes widen in surprise.

That’s how the four of them find themselves in a circle on the living room carpet. UNO cards are scattered across the floor, with Louise’s phone in the middle, playing Dan Howell’s new album, _All for You_.

“So, which is your favourite?” Chris asks Phil, after the album has repeated three times.

“ _Red_.” Phil answers after thinking for a moment. “Track Eight,” he further explains.

“Why _Red_?” PJ asks, almost disgusted. “That song sounds really sad…”

Phil is silent again as he thinks a bit harder. “Because, it’s all about fate, and hopes and dreams. And, meeting your soulmate.” He replies, “I don’t know – I like it,” he shrugs, and slaps down a blue 7. “ _UNO!_ "


	2. A Decent Disguise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan’s in a daze.  
> He stands before the mirror, heating his hair into oblivion and straightening out his trademark curls. He doesn’t quite know how he convinced Heidi to let him go out in disguise, but somehow, she’d given in. After a list of rules carefully memorised, that didn’t limit his interactions and allowed him to live freely for a few hours, Dan was getting ready in his disguise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NEW CHAPTER!  
> no warnings other than a minor panic attack at the end :)

It’s two weeks later, when Dan finds himself spending the night in another hotel room.

Don’t get him wrong – each hotel he stays in is _lush_. Plus, he gets room service, a secure internet connection, and soft, clean sheets. It’s just not home.

He’s struck with fortune. Today, he was supposed to practice for his upcoming tour, but his choreographer came down ill – and when prompted to get a new, temporary one, Dan brushed Heidi off and replied, “I wouldn’t do that to him, he’s just unwell.”

“I guess you get a day off, then,” Heidi muttered from behind a pile of sheets and a scatter of stationary. She peers over the top, her green eyes wide with interest, “What do you wanna do?”

Her question hits Dan square in the chest. What else was he really _to_ do? After all, he’d thrown away his personal life to achieve his dream of becoming a singer, every single day he did just that. He had nothing to do on his day off, other than sleep, play video games, and watch movies. And sure, he thinks, that’s great, but he isn’t feeling that today.

Dan feels the creeping urge to shrink back into the reality of 98% of the world, to become _normal_ , climb up through him and pound in heart. He’s silent, and Heidi quirks an eyebrow, knowing exactly what he was going to ask when the flame flickers in his eye. He’d talked about his occasional need to escape, if only for a day, many times. It breaks her heart every time, when she recognises the far off look in his eye, and she’s quick to suggest something else. “How about you catch up with Zoe?”

Zoe, Zoe Sugg. Or, Zoella, her stage name. She’s another singer just like Dan, although her music style is quite different to Dan’s, and they’re pretty close friends. They’re often seen hanging out, and when Zoe isn’t rumoured to be dating someone else, they’re squished together by the hopeless romantics of gossip media.

She, secretly, thinks it’s hilarious. One evening, after an award show they attended together, everyone became convinced they were dating. Afterwards, Dan, Zoe and Heidi laughed over glasses of wine – Dan Howell was _gay_! _How could he ever love her?_ He would reply, simply, ‘In the most platonic way, baby,’ and that was that. A secret shared between the three of them, locked up tight behind their lips.

“She has a shoot for _Vogue_ , today,” Dan mutters, flopping onto the couch. Heidi lifts her eyes in suspicion, as Dan leans forward, ready to fire the next question at her. “Can I go out today?” He asks, the familiar look of daydreaming wonder in his eye.

Heidi props herself up higher so she can look Dan directly in the eye, ready to give him the same old warnings. _What if someone spots you? What if they hurt you? What if they invade your privacy? Without me or your bodyguards there, you could get swarmed and viciously hurt…_ And so on. The possibilities were endless, and Heidi wasn’t ready to prepare with the danger. “Dan…” She began softly.

She was quickly interrupted. “I don’t care, Heidi.” He says, voice grumbly. He interlocks his fingers together and his voice flips from grumpy to pleading, soft and miserable sounding. “I’ll take care of myself, I promise. I’ll do everything you tell me,” he whispers.

 

+

“I’m going out to take some photos, today,” Phil told PJ, clutching his camera in his hand, fingers twirling around the neck strap.

Phil Lester made a living on the internet as a photographer, both landscape and portrait. His following on his Instagram is incredibly huge, clocking in at 900 thousand. He also ran a blog, updating his large following on his travels and adventures while taking photos. Coincidentally, that’s how he met Louise, a fashion and beauty blogger.

He tucked the camera carefully into the bag, remembering how he’d saved up for this camera for so long, and was mildly poor for a few weeks too many. Maybe he should get another job, he wonders, as he zips the heavy duty bag up and rolls it out to his car. His car isn’t so bad: a used mini four-seater with a minor dent in the bumper. With PJ’s help, too, he can keep the flat.

 _Maybe a miracle will come around_ , Phil thinks, forever the optimist. He’s okay, for now. _Things aren’t too bad._

PJ follows him down into the garage, “Where are you off to, today, Mr. Photographer?” He asked, scoping out the different lenses in the bag and buttons littering the device.

Phil carefully lifts the bag into the boot of his car, grunting at its weight. He manages, without breaking anything, and slams the lid shut. “I’m off to this really pretty little village, it’s part of the Cotswolds.” He says, pulling out his phone to show some pictures from Google. “It’s gorgeous, huh? I think I might take portraits here, someday. I was thinking Louise would like this field?” He wondered aloud, swiping through more photos. PJ agrees, eyes wide as he looks at the beautiful photos.

“Have fun,” PJ wished him off.

“Of course I will,” Phil chuckled, climbing into the driver’s seat.

 

+

Dan’s in a daze.

He stands before the mirror, heating his hair into oblivion and straightening out his trademark curls. He doesn’t quite know how he convinced Heidi to let him go out in disguise, but somehow, she’d given in. After a list of rules carefully memorised, that didn’t limit his interactions and allowed him to live freely for a few hours, Dan was getting ready in his disguise.

His disguise was an immense contrast to his persona. Laid out on his hotel bed was a pair of black skinny jeans, and a _YEEZUS_ t-shirt he’d bought online on a whim. A denim jacket, ripped in certain parts to create a stylish ‘bad boy’ look, and a pair of black studded boots. When Dan pulled it on, and glanced at himself in the mirror, he could hardly recognise himself.

His newly straightened hair had been pushed back into a quiff to reveal his forehead. Heidi had helped him out with this step, but he’d contoured his cheeks and jawline to create a sharper looking face. She’d even run an eyeliner pencil over his waterline, for a subtle added touch of intensity.

“What are you gonna do, while you’re out?” She asks, as she dusted the bronzer on his cheeks.

“I don’t know,” he confessed, pushing his head forward as she swabbed a blender over his skin. It felt rough, and scratchy, but he didn’t mind. “I want to go somewhere really pretty, and explore,” he admitted, after some thought.

“I know where you can go,” she whispered.

Heidi carefully lead him out the door, wishing him good luck a final time. “I’ll be okay, I promise,” Dan whispered, sliding his large sunglasses over his eyes, and making his way down the hall. He waved, as the elevator doors slid open. Heidi nodded slowly, watching as the silver doors slid past Dan and he disappeared down to the lobby, and tucked herself back into the hotel room.

His heart pounds against his rib cage, as he sees the floor number slowly counts down, and he realises his first challenge is about to come up. What if people in the lobby realise it’s him? What if the paparazzi waiting tirelessly outside for his departure realise it’s Dan Howell? What if all this effort for disguise go to waste? What if he never lives normally again?

Dan feels a shiver run up his spine when the heavy elevator doors click open. He stands, frozen still for a moment, before clambering out of the doors and into the lobby. He has no choice but to take a deep breath, calm himself down, and head out to the drive.

His steps feel heavy and dragged as he makes his way to the grand exit, and he can hear his heart beat in his ears. Dan takes another deep breath, tucking his hands in his pockets to stop his nervous fidgeting. And suddenly, he steps out into the sun.

Paparazzi line the streets surrounding the hotel, with sleeping bags and going-cold coffees, and battery packs ready for the moment Dan Howell steps out of the lush six-star hotel. Dan steps out onto the pavement, and the paparazzi begin to rumble excitedly, turning their heads and preparing their flash bulbs. When they realise it’s just another guest, someone they don’t know, they huddle back into their places and grumble disappointedly.

Dan huffs out a sigh of relief, hailing a cab, and relaxing a little. He hasn’t experienced such a thing before, where he isn’t bombarded with attention. A black cab pulls up in front of him no more than ten seconds later, and he’s about to climb in, when he feels a tap on his shoulder. He turns to see a woman with a notepad in her hands and pen tucked behind her ear.

He feels his heart beat pick up again. _Has she realised it’s actually Dan Howell?_ He wonders, and she must sense his distress. “I’m sorry, if I scared you,” she giggles lightly. She pulls the pen from behind her ear and brings it to the paper. Dan is about to object to answering any questions, when she asks, “Have you seen Dan Howell in the hotel? He’s staying here, until the 25 th,” she smiles softly, awaiting his answer.

Dan is taken aback. She really hasn’t realised who he is. No one has. He feels excitement bubble up in his chest, surprised. “U-Uh, no. Sorry, I haven’t,” Dan mutters quickly, a small, sorry smile delicately falling on his lips. She nods, thanking him for his information, and Dan climbs into the taxi. He rests his head against the window, taking a moment to relax.

The driver asks where he wants to go, without even glancing in his direction. Dan shows him the directions on his phone, “It’s a small village in the Cotswolds, I think.”

 

+

Phil pulls his car to a stop outside of a stone walled pub, listening to the car grunt in protest. He plucks his keys out and steps out of the car, breathing in the fresh air. It was surely a contrast to his London home. The air was warm and clean, the grass was vibrantly green, and a little stream split the town in half. From here, Phil could see the flowery fields and the willow trees dancing in the wind around the cottages. Atop the hill, a huge cottage looking house sat, almost a mansion in size compared to his flat back home.

Phil moved to the back of his car, retrieving his camera. He grabbed his camera out, leaving his protective case inside. Playing with the settings, Phil began touring himself around the village and began taking photos.

 

+

“Thank you,” Dan muttered to the taxi driver as he pulled to a halt in a small village.

“That’s a pretty hefty bill, son,” the man said, tapping his timer. The price rang up to a few hundred pounds, and the man was prepared to cancel some of the money off for him, when Dan shook his head. In honesty, it was barely a dent in his wage – not to brag.

“It’s fine,” Dan replied, pulling out a wad of cash and handing it to the man. “Is that enough?”

The man leafed through the notes, taking a few out and handing them back to Dan, “Too much,” he shrugged, but Dan had already stepped out of the car.

“It’s a tip, then,” Dan smiled through the window, waving off the taxi. The black vehicle drove off with a cloud of dust arising in the air behind it, and Dan was left alone.

He felt a wave of independence ride over him as he breathed in the fresh air. The area was absolutely beautiful, dotted with hundreds of different colours. Willow trees hung over a glittering blue stream, that seemed to split the town in half. Two small bridges seemed to be the only thing to stitch it back together.

Fields like patchwork of different colours made the town even more beautiful, each field decorated with a different flower type to set it apart. Small paths carved their way through the hills to set apart the houses, and one particularly large house on top of the mountain. Each cottage seemed to have smoke billowing from the chimneys, and gardens uniquely designed.

He blushed, maybe he would live here when he was older, and ready to settle down.

Dan began to walk around the village, admiring each and every little aspect of it. As he passed the stream, he felt the urge to dip his hand into the crystal clear, cerulean blue water. Dipping his fingers inside, the cool water ran over his fingertips, and he spotted a fish’s scales in the sunlight. He grinned, is this what freedom felt like? He felt the happiest he had in a long time.

Standing up, he followed the bank of the stream, seeking more adventure. Approaching one of the small bridges, Dan noticed someone peculiar. Like he, there were a few tourists scattered around, but this man caught his eye. Not in a bad way, no – the man was bent in a strange fashion, large camera in hand. Even from here, Dan could see his finger snapping photo after photo.

Dan decided, then, with a sudden burst if courage humming inside of him, that the photographer would be the first person he’d talk too. The peculiar, pale skinned and raven haired man, could possibly be his first friend.

 

+

Phil was getting some great content – he couldn’t wait to edit and upload, and receive some good feedback. He knew he’d use this spot again, and he knew for sure he’d love to take his friends out here for some photos, it was so beautiful. Currently, he was stood on one of the small bridges, shooting some lovely photos of the river stream.

Suddenly, his camera beeps in protest, and an error message pops up: _Card Full_. Phil sighs, tipping his camera upside down and clicking the bottom open and pulling his full memory card out. Luckily, he’d brought back up cards. He retrieved one from his pocket, sliding it into place and shutting the bottom of the camera. He was about to lift the camera back up to his face to capture more photos, when the scenery catches his eye.

He takes a moment, glancing out at the shimmering blue water and the swaying willow trees and the flower petals that dance in the breeze. He finds himself smiling at the view, trying to stain it into his memory.

“It’s gorgeous, isn’t it?” A voice says from beside him, giving him a fright.

Phil jumps, yelping in surprise. He turns to see a man his height, who has absurdly large sunglasses on and a delicate smile playing on his lips. He was glancing out at the same view Phil had been just moments before.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry,” He mutters, hands shaking before him. “I didn’t mean to scare you!” He hides his face, blushing red.

Phil chuckles, hand on his heart. “No, it’s okay,” he mutters, feeling his laughter melt. “It is quite pretty,” he finally agrees. He doesn’t know what it is, but he wants to keep talking to this stranger, who welcomed himself with a strange introduction and gentle giggle. Phil hooks his camera’s strap around his neck and lets the device fall to his chest.

“Are you a photographer?” The man asks. Phil is rather taken aback – it felt odd to have a stranger riddle you with questions about your life. Phil didn’t seem to mind, though, this guy seemed quite friendly and simply intrigued, after all. His voice seemed to quiver at the ends of his words, as if he were shy or testing the waters.

Phil nods, “Yeah! I’m a landscape and portrait photographer.” He explains, “I’m quite well known for it, I have a few hundred thousand followers on Instagram. I don’t get many jobs, but it pays the bills,” Phil chuckled. The man simply smiles.

“That’s really cool,” he beams. Phil lifts his camera up from his chest, flicking through some of the photos and leaning closer to the man to show them off. From here, he could see the stranger up close, and his chocolate brown eyes framed by his long eyelashes, that sparkled with a fairy-like wonder as they stared at Phil’s dreamy photos. Phil felt his heart beat quicken as the man pushed his face even closer to his own.

Phil feels like a child, when he asks his next question, but he’s so interested in learning more about this stranger. Without a second thought, he asks, “What’s your name?”

 

+

Dan feels his heartbeat quicken, thrumming against his ribcage. He knows he has two options, quickly make up a fake name, or risk getting caught with his real name. In all honesty, he believes he could be friends with this guy – and why would you make friends with someone who didn’t know your real name? Dan doesn’t know what he’s doing, he just wants company other than fake. “Dan.” He answers. “Dan is my name.” He clutches onto the bridge’s rail, running his fingers over the rusting metal. He feels his heart swell as the man beside him grins, _someone is interested in_ me _, and not Dan Howell!_

“What’s your name?” Dan asks, chuckling lightly.

“Phil,” the photographer replies. His fingers dance over the buttons and switches lining the top of his camera. “Well, it’s Philip, but I much prefer Phil,” he clarified, laughing. Dan doesn’t realise he’s still staring at the camera until Phil pipes up, “Do you want to try out my camera? You seem pretty interested.”

Dan flails his hands, dismissing Phil, but he’s already lifting the neck strap of his head and raising it over Dan’s. Dan blushes, smiling softly, and he ducks his head so Phil has better access. Phil gently rests the camera in Dan’s palm, flicking some switches for him. Dan raises the camera to his eye, squinting the other shut so he can see through the viewer.

He clicks the button, snapping a photo of his and Phil’s shoed toes dangling over the edge of the bridge, and the water sparkling underneath them. He pulls his head away and glances at the photo before it disappears. It’s not as beautiful as Phil’s. It doesn’t tell a story or make his heartbeat quicken or inspire a fairy-tale, like Phil’s seem to do. Plus, the exposure just isn’t right, either. “Yours are better,” he mutters, smiling nonetheless.

He lifts the camera from around his neck, and it’s his turn to fix it back onto Phil. For a moment, he catches Phil’s cheeks glow pink as he giggles. His fingers brush over the back of Phil’s neck and his black hair, sending a shiver up his spine. “Thank you, though,” Dan says, cupping his hand to his chest and blushing, too. Dan catches a glimpse of Phil’s tongue poking out from between his teeth, and feels his heart pick up more speed.

The conversation dips then, and the two become silent as they find themselves staring at each other, unaware of the world around them. It’s Phil, who pulls them out of their trances, “This is gonna sound really weird,” he murmurs, scratching his head and looking away from Dan. “I’m pretty hungry, and that pub over there looks quite nice… Do you wanna, uh…” He coughed, finally meeting Dan’s eyes again. “Have lunch with me?”

Dan is taken aback. Phil wants to know more about _him_. Phil is nervous around _him_. Phil wants to hang out with _him_. _Not_ Dan Howell.

Dan grins, nodding profusely. Phil chuckles, “Good,” and he leads Dan over to the cobblestoned walls. Dan forgets to think about the consequences of his actions, until the dust from the road is kicking over his studded shoes, and he wonders if Phil will recognise him. Kick up a fuss? Declare Dan’s secret? What if they become friends, and then Phil sells him out to the whole world? People can do that…

Maybe it was naïve of him, but something in the way Phil’s eyes sparkled when Dan agreed, and the way he pulled Dan’s chair out without looking him in the eye, and the way he chuckled when he stumbled over his own chair – he felt he could trust Phil, wholeheartedly. Everything about him just screamed ‘friendly guy’, and Dan felt his heart flutter at the very idea of him. Dan’s gut was rarely ever wrong, anyway.

After all, he knew Heidi would give in to let him go out sometime.

After they’d ordered their meals, their conversation seemed to fall into place and flow easily, and they’d bonded over everything and nothing. Turns out, they had a similar taste in movies, video games, and TV shows. Dan felt himself become like a magnet, drawing himself closer to Phil without helping himself, ready to leap up become attached.

He notices Phil keeps staring at him, like he’s dreaming. Whenever Dan would meet his eye, he’d quickly look away, or take a swig of his drink, or poke a button on his camera. _Why is he always looking this way?_

 

+

 _He’s looking at me!_ Phil tries to suppress the blush that falls on his cheeks whenever Dan looks his way. He can feel himself falling for the attractive guy that sits opposite him. The way Dan talks, and the gestures he makes when he does, has Phil’s heart beating. Even over such simple topics, Dan appears to be a very passionate and sentimental person – it makes Phil’s heart melt.

Phil feels the suns heat cool down and the colour of the sky turn a pastel pink, and he turns his attention out to the sunset. He feels his heart drop, that the day is ending, and he’d have to part ways with this boy. As he turns back, he sees Dan staring at the same view, iPhone pointed towards the sky to take a photo.

An idea forms in Phil’s head, and he hands his camera to Dan. Dan looks at him in both awe and confusion, tipping his head to the side, but he takes the camera anyway and snaps a few photos of the pink and orange dancing over the horizon. Once he’s finished, Phil says, more nervously than he thought he would achieve, “I can send them to you… If I g-get your nu-umber…”

 

+

Dan feels his heart beat faster in happiness. Phil, this gorgeous and sweet guy, wants his number?! He’s about to pass over the Rose Gold iPhone when he stops himself. What if Phil leaked his personal number?

Another thought ticked over in his head, reassuring him that Phil didn’t know Dan was Dan Howell – and betraying his worry, passed his phone over on the ‘New Contact’ page. Phil bounced a little on his seat, making Dan blush again, and they swapped phones. Dan typed his name in, adding a little puppy emoji onto the end of his name. When he got his own phone back, he sees Phil has added a dragon emoji on the end, which made Dan chuckle.

After the sun, they stepped out into the night, and absentmindedly, Dan followed Phil to his car, watching as he put his camera away. It didn’t hit him that he had no way to get home until Phil had slammed the lid down, making his car wobble.

Dan had begun to shake, and sweat, and his hands had become fidgety. Phil looked rather frightened at Dan’s sudden attack, and he looked around for something to help the poor guy. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?” He asked over and over.

Dan shook his head, rocking on his toes. He had no idea what to do – he _always_ had a driver, or a bodyguard, or _someone_ to tell him what to do. He was so used to being dependant on other people he’d forgotten the simple fact of his transport home. Maybe he couldn’t live normally, after all, he was _pathetic_.

In a blink of an eye, Dan felt himself submerged into a tight warmth, and swirling, tingly warmth on his back. He wrenched open his eyes, greeted to the night-time view of the quiet village, and Phil’s hair. Dan realised, that Phil was hugging him, and now shushing him and calming him down. Dan relaxed into Phil’s arms, though still surprised at the man’s actions – it felt secure and safe.

 

+

Phil pushed his fingers over the back of Dan’s neck, “Are you okay?” He asked again, after Dan had completely calmed down. “That was scary, I’m sorry,” he whispered, as he pulled away. His hands lingered on Dan’s waist as he looked into the chocolate eyes that bore into his own. He quickly tucked his arms back by his side.

Dan hummed in approval, looking away. “How embarrassing,” he muttered, but Phil shook his head, assuring him it was fine. “I, u-uh, have no way of getting home… I guess it slipped my mind.” A blush crawled on his cheeks, illuminated by the moon.

“Oh.” Phil muttered, “Do you want me to take you home? I mean, that’s creepy but I can-,”

 

+

“Yes, please!” Dan interrupted. He ignored all consequences, after all, doing so had granted him this new friend. “If it’s not out of the way,” Dan said sheepishly, hiding his face.

“Are you in London?”

“In a hotel,” Dan answered, rubbing his toe into the dirt, when Phil replied with nothing. Dan looked up, and Phil looked rather unhappy, all of a sudden, “What’s wrong?” Dan asked, stepping forward, worry surging through him.

“You don’t live close, then? I kinda wanted to get to know you more,” Phil admitted. He ducked his head, black fringe falling over his eyes.

Dan raised his hands, flailing them, “I live on the outskirts of London! I just tend to stay in hotels because I do a lot of work in the city, and it’s just easier this way,” he explained, letting a hand fall on Phil’s shoulder.

Phil heaved in a sigh of relief, “Does that mean… You want to get to know me, too?” He asked, and Dan realised that the way he’d answered the question, he’d admitted to it. Either way, it _was_ true, and he _really_ wanted to get to know Phil more. Dan nodded, grinning. “Shall we go, then?” Phil asked, opening the car door.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> send me a message or comment below! do you think dan should tell heidi what he's up too?!


	3. Up for Seconds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Phil find themselves asking each other out for another date, and Phil realises he's crazy for Dan, and Dan wonders if he's risking too much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No warnings in this one - although Phil takes a peek at Dan's bum in skinnies. So... AND FOOD, they eat food.

Dan had tears brimming at his eyes, and they finally spilled over as he lurched forward, stomach aching from laughter. Phil was trying hard not to laugh as much, as he was driving, late at night – but his efforts made Dan laugh more, and Dan’s loud, cracking laugh was too cute and contagious to ignore.

They’d been discussing everything and nothing, on their drive back into London. Dan felt himself tearing down more walls he’d previously put up, and opening his entire personality up to Phil (luckily, for him, Phil hadn’t asked any work related questions). Just now, Phil had shared an embarrassing and silly story about the time a squirrel attacked him. To Dan, the encounter was so hilarious, it had his sides splitting.

Between gasps of laughter, Dan caught glimpse of a sign. He lifted his finger and pointed to a street the lead further into the Inner City, near the river. “My… Hotel… Is this… Way,” he declared, trying to catch his breath, before pointing to another sign with the name of the hotel.

By now, their laughter had died down and dissolved into a peaceful and comfortable silence. Phil’s fingers flicked under the wheel, and the car clicked into action, alerting people around him that he’d turn right in approximately 300m. Dan let the car lull him to sleep, the sound of running over tar and Phil’s quiet music and gentle humming the last thing he hears.

 

+

When Phil pulls up through the drive of the hotel, he takes a moment to glance around. The gardens are perfectly pruned, and the hotel itself has a marble lobby and rooms that stretch up above him like a sky scraper. He spots a tennis court and a pool, fit with a spa and bed lounges. He whistles, clearly impressed.

He turns to see Dan, who’s curled his legs up into his chest, his head leaning against the window. His obnoxiously large sunglasses sit on his forehead, sliding down his face and onto the bridge of his nose. He looks adorable when he sleeps, Phil thinks. He blushes, jumping a little in his seat. What is he thinking? He just met Dan, today. He can’t help but stare, though, as his chest rises and falls.

Eventually, his conscience takes over, and he gently pats Dan awake. Dan stirs gently, seeming confused at his surroundings. “We’re at your hotel,” Phil explains, and Dan sits up a little straighter. His eyes are puffy from sleep, and he looks around, grasping onto being awake. Without thinking twice, Phil steps out of the car and dashes around to Dan’s side, opening the door for him.

Phil extends his hand out for the man, as he undoes his seatbelt. He looks up to Phil, chuckling in amazement, but Phil’s smile is so cheery, he can’t help but oblige. Phil guides him out of the car – it was all innocent and sweet, he didn’t expect anything more. But, before he knows it, Dan is pressing a kiss to his cheek.

His lips are perfectly soft, and they leave warm tingles on his skin. Phil gasps, and Dan whispers, “I’ll see you, soon,” before waving and dashing off into the hotel doors. Phil turns, but Dan is already gone.

Phil arrives home, lugging his camera case through the halls of the apartment block and revelling in the memories of today. Dan, this sweet, eccentric and passionate guy, who he undoubtedly already fancied, kissed him! Well, as close to that as the skin on his cheek. Phil replays those final five seconds over and over in his head, so engrossed in his thoughts, he doesn’t register PJ talking to him.

“Phil?” PJ repeats, for, maybe, the fourth time. “Phil!” He presses, waving a hand directly in front of Phil’s face.

Phil, suddenly pulled back into focus, snaps his head up, grinning. “Oh, hi Peej,” he greeted. Phil heaved his camera onto the dining room table, and his thoughts trailed off again. PJ stood before him, arms crossed and eyes squinted, trying to process what had Phil in such a trance.

PJ lifted the back of his hand to Phil’s forehead, knuckles resting against the crease of Phil’s brow. “Are you feeling okay?” PJ asked, sounding concerned. Phil nodded profusely, brushing him off. PJ shrugged, giving up. He flopped into a dining room chair, as Phil set up his computer and card reader at his photography desk, only a few feet away. “You’re home pretty late, what’d you get up too?” PJ inquired.

His question was innocent, purely intrigued in what Phil had taken photos of, that day. Phil swivelled his chair so he was facing PJ, and began to explain the beautiful scenery. “Plus,” Phil dropped, “I met someone,” with a smirk.

PJ gasped, leaning forward and ready to hear more. PJ was always there for a good gossip session and some free, friendly advice. Phil adored his company in moments such as this one. Phil wheeled his chair over to the table, letting his computer warm itself up. “He, or she?” PJ asked, resting his hand on his chin.

“He.” Phil gave, “Dan was his name.” He continued to spout facts and quirks about the man he’d met, a constant flow of admiration tumbling out of his lips. He even included the intimate final details of Dan’s fleeting kiss on the cheek.

After Phil had finished, PJ sat back in his chair, “I’ve never heard you speak so nicely of someone,” PJ admitted. “ _And_ , for so long. Phil, you’re fucked for him!” PJ chuckled, taking a swig of wine that he’d grabbed half way through Phil’s speech.

Phil rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t tell if PJ was joking or not.

 

+

Dan slipped his key-card into the lock, awaiting the beep before pressing down the handle and making his way into the hotel room. Before he could even look for her, Heidi came crashing into the entrance room, leaping onto him and clutching Dan in a hug. “You’re okay,” she correctly observed, snuggling her face into his neck. It was moments like this that made Dan remember that she was never just his agent, or manager; she was his friend.

He rubbed his hands over her back, soothing her. He felt a pang of guilt run through him, she must have been worrying about him all day. He kissed the top of her head, “Yeah, I’m okay,” he whispered into her hair. He bit back the words, about Phil and his adventures with the gorgeous photographer.

“You were home so late, I got so worried about you,” she muttered, stepping back a little so she could look into his eyes. She seemed to read Dan’s apology, “It’s okay, though. You’re here, now.” She leads Dan into the living area and opened a few boxes of pizza, “I ordered some a while ago. They might be cold now, but we have a microwave,” she smiled, picking up a slice and nibbling on the end.

“Heidi…” Dan began. “You’re too nice to me. You let me go out, you let me _live_. All I repay you with is bitching and making you worry about me,” he confessed, sliding closer to her. “I’m so sorry, you’re so precious to me, you know?” He assured, wrapping her in another hug.

“You’re a sap,” she whispered, from beneath his arm, breath fanning Dan’s chest. Dan guessed she tried to sound mean, but it came out much softer than that. “I trust you, though. It’s just me, getting worried,” she assured, taking another bite of pizza.

The two sat in silence watching a movie, finishing up all the pizza, even if it was cold as it went down. Dan, who’d pressed his hotel bed up against the window so he could stare out at the city’s nightlights, fell under the covers and snuggled himself in. He remembered the day, about Phil and the drive home, and the _kiss_.

Dan blushes, bringing his fingers to his lips. He didn’t even kiss Phil on the lips, but it felt like enough. After all, he hadn’t had a _true_ kiss since he was fourteen, and the girlfriend he’d insisted on having had asked for a kiss. Because, after that, Dan ran away from his sexuality, and then he became famous. There was no time to kiss a boy so beautiful as Phil Lester was to him.

Maybe, next time he sees Phil, Dan will kiss him properly.

 

+

**Phil: _5 Images Attached_** _9:04 AM_

**Phil: These are the photos you took yesterday!** _9:04 AM_

**Phil: Maybe you could take more on my camera, I think you’re pretty good.** _9:07 AM_

**Phil: Do you know when I could see you again?** _9:12 AM_

**Dan: im very busy, but i can get someone to cover for me tomorrow? ^_^** _9:13 AM_

**Phil: Oh! I don’t want you to have to skip work or anything! Maybe another time? :)** _9:15 AM_

**Dan: no, it’s okay. i want to, if youre free? i’ll take u for coffee?** _9:15 AM_

**Phil: Of course I am!** _9:16 AM_

**Dan: ok! meet me tomorrow outside of my hotel? 9AM? i know a really nice café** _9:18 AM_

**Phil: It’s a date x** _9:18 AM_

**Dan: it is? o_O** _9:19 AM_

**Phil: If you want it to be… :P** _9:22 AM_

**Dan: i do :D** _9:22 AM_

+

Dan hurriedly clicked on Zoe’s contact, bringing the phone to his ear and hearing the ringtone buzz. She picked up, after three rings. “Dan!” She cheered. Dan could imagine her bright blue eyes sparkling and her pink lips spreading into a smile – after all, it’s what she’s recognised for. “How are you?!”

“I’m great, Zo, how are you?” Dan asked, trying to keep up with the small talk before asking Zoe for a favour. He had a plan – getting out of concert rehearsal tomorrow would be tough, and he needed an actual excuse. After the many times the two had had each other’s backs, Dan knew he could rely on Zoe to spin a lie for him.

Eventually, the question came, “What can I do for you, on this fine morning?”

“You promise you won’t tell Heidi?” Dan asked, chatting a little quieter down the line, in case Heidi in the room over would hear. Zoe swore on her heart, and Dan continued. “Yesterday, she finally let me out, and I… I met someone.”

“Dan! You what?!” Zoe barked down the line, worry boiling in her tone.

“Don’t worry, they don’t know it’s _me_. I mean, they know me for _me_ and _not_ Dan Howell.” Zoe was silent. “I felt special, for once, Zoe,” he whispered down the line, voice shaking.

“Oh, Dan, sweetheart. Are you sure it’s safe?” Her voice softened, trying not to hurt his feelings.

He felt his armour chip away. “Yes!”

“Anyway, what do you need?”

“I’m going to hang out with him tomorrow,” Dan explained, “But, obviously, I can’t tell Heidi, so I’m gonna tell her I’m hanging out with you. In case she calls you, I needed you to have a lie spun for me. Is that okay?”

“Sure!” She replied, her signature giggle following. “So… Tell me about this guy…”

 

+

“Yes!” Phil cheered, pumping his fist into the air in excitement. “I’m going on a date!” Phil explained, as PJ, Louise, and Chris, all gave him odd stares. They were arranged on the floor, each on one edge of a _Monopoly_ board, with Louise’s phone playing _All for You_ in the centre. Phil bounced up and down, throwing his phone behind him onto the couch. “I need to find something to wear!”

“Hey! Stop!” Chris called, before Phil could get anywhere. “First of all, we just got here, so don’t go anywhere just yet.” He pointed between himself and Louise. “Second, spill! You have a date? With who?” He pulled Phil back onto the couch, and the others crowded around to listen in. PJ had already heard most everything, but he didn’t object to seeing Phil’s face light up again at the mention of this _Dan_ guy.

So, Phil spilt everything, blushing the whole time. The things Dan wore, the things he said, the way he fell asleep and how he said goodbye, too. “The date’s tomorrow, by the way,” he added on the end.

“God, you are _so_ in love,” Louise gawked, poking Phil’s pink cheeks. “Look!” She gestured at him, to the other boys. They nodded in amazed agreement, but Phil brushed them off. “Come on, let’s go find you something super stylish to wear, to knock his socks off,” Louise chanted, grabbing his hand and dragging him to his bedroom.

 

+

“Heidi, I’m going to Zoe’s,” Dan declared, the next morning.

“What?” Heidi asked, incredulous. “You have dance practice, today,” she argued, checking her calendars. She lifted one up to show him, poking with her finger on today’s date, where _DANce Practice_ was written in blue. Hearts in the same blue were dotted over every second day on the calendar. Along with plenty of other colour-coded concert-related activities.

Dan clung his hands together, lacing his fingers. “Please! I haven’t seen Zo in ages, and you know I get dance moves easily,” he begged. This, in fact, was true.

“No,” Heidi argued, barely budging. She dropped the calendar back onto the desk and continued to flick through various tabs on her computer. Dan pleaded again, and gave more excuses, and pleaded again. “God, you’re so annoying. How do I know this isn’t some ploy to sneak out again?”

“It’s not! Call her, if you’re so desperate for me to go to practice,” Dan lied, pulling his phone out of his pocket. “I still have a month, and they’re simple dance moves… Plus, you’ll get a day off,” he said, which seemed to sway Heidi in Dan’s favour a touch more.

Heidi quickly tapped in Zoe’s number, putting her on speaker phone. After two rings, Zoe picked up, “Hey, Dan! When are you coming over? I miss you! I’m making some donuts, for us,” she chatted down the line. Zoe had practiced this line with him, assuring that whenever they called each other, this would be her opening line.

Heidi cut into the conversation, “So, he _is_ going to yours…” Heidi muttered, feeling embarrassed. She blushed, “Sorry, Dan,” she apologised quickly.

Eventually, Heidi had left to go home and relax on her own, leaving Dan in the hotel room alone.

Knowing Dan was going to see Phil, he wanted to impress him a little more. Today, he struggles into ultra-skinny black jeans, and a pair of sleek, black, platform light-up sneakers. He shrugs on a dull coloured jumper, that oddly resembles a potato sack, and gets to straightening his hair. He sweeps it upwards in the same direction he had two days previous, hairspray turning the strands crisp.

He’d experimented with make up before, and sure, he wasn’t as good as Heidi or any of his make-up artists, but he could get by. He decorated his cheeks in contour again, making his face appear thinner. He dragged a wand of mascara over his eyelashes, and as he put the tube back into his toiletries bag, he noticed a small, pink and glittery stick.

Remembering instantly what it was, he decided to pull it out. He screwed open the lid, revealing a pastel pink lip gloss that was dotted with glitter. He remembers wearing it once, and deciding to leave it for special occasions – he thinks his date today is special enough to wear it. He swipes the stick over his lips, pouting in the mirror. The gloss made his lips look shiny and plump.

He blushed, glancing at his reflection. It was so different to what he was used to looking like – he didn’t mind it, though. He quite admired this grungy look. He grabbed his sunglasses, sliding them over his eyes. He almost reached out to touch the glass, so perplexed, when his phone buzzed in the room over. He left the bathroom and picked up the phone.

**Phil: I’ll be at your hotel in a few minutes :)** _9:04 AM_

**Dan: text me when ur outside!! X** _9:05 AM_

Dan didn’t want to risk waiting outside and possibly getting caught, by fans or paparazzi. His hotel room was safe, and private.

He walked back into the bathroom, and looked at himself in the mirror. “Hey, Phil,” he said, winking at his reflection. He shook his head, trying again. His hand poked out from his sweater sleeves, “Phil, it’s so nice to see you again…” Practicing talking to someone in the mirror was something Dan had done millions of times – why did he feel so silly and pathetic, now?

 

+

Phil pulled into the drive of the hotel, unplugging his phone and alerting Dan that he was waiting downstairs. He waited impatiently in the driver’s seat, bouncing up and down in excitement. He’d worn his rather tight-fitting plaid shirt, that Louise had told him many times before made him look very attractive. In fairness, it was probably his best shirt that wasn’t a dress shirt. He’d slid on his thick, black framed glasses, as he’d also been told they looked nice on him.

Phil notices a stir of movement by the lobby entry, where a group of people with cameras and notebooks all chat and watch every new person walk out the door. Were they paparazzi? Was someone famous staying in the same hotel as Dan? He thought about it for a moment, before they stirred again, and Dan appeared from the entrance. He seemed rather frightened, at their presence.

Phil stepped out of the car, waving to Dan. A grin grew on Dan’s face, and he skipped over to where Phil stood. He smiled brightly, excited to see Phil again. Phil felt butterflies swirl in his stomach, as he watched Dan’s face sparkle with delight. He noticed a shining on Dan’s lips, as the sun came from behind a cloud. “Are… Are you wearing lip gloss?” Phil asked, hypnotised by Dan’s pink and plump, and glittery, lips.

Dan’s eyes widened, and a blush fell on the tips of his cheeks. He covered his lips with his hand, “I can get rid of it, if you want,” Dan hurriedly muttered, turning his hand over and ready to smear his wrist over his face.

Phil chuckled lightly, grabbing Dan’s wrist before he could go any further. “No, no,” he stopped him, grinning. “I like it, it’s cute,” he assured, blushing, too. Dan, surprised, bounced on his toes, grinning like a child.

 

+

“Shall we go?” Dan asks, his hand sliding out of Phil’s grasp, before taking Phil’s own. He examines Phil’s pale, slender fingers for a moment – _this guy is like a marble statue_ , he thinks – running his own, tanner fingers over the blue veins standing in Phil’s skin. “I’m excited to take you to this café, I really like it,” Dan muttered.

Dan has specifically chosen this place, as he’d been there once before with Zoe (the both of them were bombarded with questions, and requests for signatures and pictures, but Dan hadn’t minded so much), and had absolutely loved it. It’s table arrangements were large booths, set up comfortably with cushions and small flower vases. If you sat in a good one, you had a view of the biggest park in London, and could see little people playing in the fields.

Leading Phil inside, Dan laced their fingers together. To his delight, a window-seated booth was unoccupied. He smiled, letting Phil slide in first, before taking the opposite side. Heartbeat rapidly hammering in his chest, he and Phil began their date, talking as easily and freely as they had just two days before.

Dan had ordered a chocolate milkshake, and Phil had ordered some strange, pink tart cake. He dug his fork into it, an almost guttural moan flying from his lips when he tasted it, startling Dan. He blushed at the noise, and his cheeks dared go redder when he asked, quietly, “Can I try?”

Phil looked up at him from behind his fringe. “If you give me some milkshake,” he argued, eyeing the whipped cream topped drink.

“Fair’s fair,” Dan nodded, opening his mouth expectantly. Phil giggled, the fork in his hand guided over to Dan’s mouth. Dan shut his lips over the fork, eyes rolling into the back of his head as he felt the intensely sweet treat glide over his taste buds. “Wow…” He sighed, “We have got to get some more of that,” Dan muttered, searching through the menu.

“You got glitter on my fork,” Phil giggled, after a moment, holding up the fork to Dan’s face, “From your lip gloss!” Dan blushed red, as Phil chuckled, shaking his head. Nonetheless, Phil pushed his fork back into the cake and took another mouthful.

It was when they were watching people pass by in the park, that Dan heard his song _All for You_ filter out over the radio, and into their little space in the booth. Dan felt his stomach sink, fear radiating in his veins. He glanced to Phil, to see if he had even noticed. A second sinking feeling followed, _what if Phil didn’t like Dan Howell or his music?_ A million evil thoughts began to swirl in his head, before he realised Phil’s mouth moving with the words.

“Y-You know this song?” Dan asked, hiding his face a little, as his eyes must have been manically wide open with surprise.

“I thought everyone did,” Phil chuckled, “I quite like this song, but not as much as _Red_. That one’s my favourite…”

Dan gasped, and he felt his head float. Phil listened to his music? And appreciated it? _God_ , and he hadn’t even noticed the boy opposite him, the boy who _kissed his cheek two nights’ prior_ , is that very singer? Phil gave him a weird look, when Dan’s face fell stoic. “I guess I just didn’t pin you as a Dan Howell fan,” Dan stumbled, suddenly in a strange trance.

Phil smiled, “What, you don’t like him?”

Dan shrugged, “He’s okay, I guess.” It felt weird to talk about yourself in third person, as if you weren’t talking about yourself. A thought ticked in Dan’s head, as he realised that maybe he’d have to keep up this running gag in order to be friends, or closer as he’d hoped, with Phil.

“I’m not a die-hard fan, or anything. But, he’s cute, and talented,” Phil said, blushing and looking away.

Dan blushed, too, feeling immensely complimented. Before he could get too excited about the comment, he played along with his ruse, “Hey! You’re on a date with me,” he teased, poking his tongue out from between his glittering lips.

“Well, I guess since Dan Howell will never love a simple man like me, you come next,” Phil chuckled at his joke, and Dan emitted something between a half-hearted laugh and a choked gasp, realising the former may very well be incorrect.

 

+

“I had a lovely time,” Dan said, as Phil pulled the car to a stop outside of the lush hotel. He was silent for a moment, mouth agape, as if preparing what to say next in his head. He sucked in a breath, “I really want to see you again, but I’m so busy with work over the next month, and I can’t afford to take a break…” He sighed, picking at his nails. “I mean, I can try and find time, but it will be hard, I’m sorry,” he apologised, looking to Phil for confirmation.

Phil nodded, solemnly. He still hadn’t discovered what Dan’s job was, but now wasn’t a pressing time to ask. “That’s okay. I’m free most of the time, so text me whenever you wanna hang out with me,” Phil smiled. Dan lifted his head, beaming up at him. Phil couldn’t tear his eyes away from Dan’s gorgeous eyes and beautiful, literally glittering smile. “God, you’re so pretty,” he huffed, before realising it had escaped his lips.

Dan blushed, hiding his face like a teenage girl. “I-I… Uh, I,” Phil tried to clarify his statement, embarrassed that he’d admitted such a thing. Within a moment, surprisingly, Dan’s lips were on his, inevitably silencing him. He could feel Dan’s hot skin on his cheek, and even his eyelashes fluttering beside his own. He was sure, as he was blushing so furiously, that his skin was just as hot. Phil’s heart was like a jack-hammer, rapidly slamming against his chest, reaching out for Dan.

Dan pulled away, fingers brushing over his lips. The glittery residue landed on his fingertips, and he’d left it smeared over Phil’s lips, too. “Sorry, I… I felt like it,” Dan whispered, smiling softly.

“I liked it,” Phil replied, a surge of false confidence riding through him, suddenly. He really liked Dan, everything about him. From the way he looks, to the way he talks and laughs and _kisses_.

“W-What?” Dan stuttered, raging red blush across his nose and ears.

Ignoring Dan’s stuttering, Phil leaned down and pressed another kiss to Dan’s lips, letting it last longer and fall more passionately. Pulling away, Dan smiled softly, “I’ll see you as soon as possible, I promise,” before pecking Phil once again and opened the car door.

Dan stepped out of the car, turning and walking into the huge, glamorous lobby. Phil noticed the sway of Dan’s hips and the curve of his bum in those ultra-skinny jeans, and _wow_ , he thinks, _I’m so fucked_. He drops his head against the handle of the steering wheel, laughing at himself, before driving off.

 

+

Dan blushed, stepping out of the car, and as Phil drove off, and as he made his way to his hotel room, and as he laid down in his bed. It didn’t occur to him, until it set in that he was all alone again, that could be putting everything at risk.

Everything, being his career, his safety, his relationship with Phil, Phil’s safety… His own stupid emotions and attractions and impulse for more private enjoyment, could have ruined everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, everyone!   
> I'm really enjoying writing this fic at the moment, I'm finding so much fun in it. I'm up to chapter five on my drafts, and I love finalising a chapter for you!  
> So, tell me, do you think Dan is risking too much? Or, should he just stick with it, and try and ask Phil out? What about the concert?!


	4. More Than You Bargained For

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Concert preparation and surprises galore... Maybe Dan should have been more careful?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song that Dan sings in this chapter is a real song. it was once shown in this very notes box but i though -fuck that- cause its embarrassing so just deal with the lyrics im so sorry

Phil waltzes into his flat, hooking his coat on the back of the door. He’s day dreaming, about Dan and his lips and the fact that they kissed. Phil wondered, on the drive home, whether he should have asked Dan out. Because, he really liked Dan, and he wanted to cement their feelings whilst Dan was busy and unable to see him.

PJ, Chris, and Louise are spread out across the open living of the flat. PJ, in the kitchen, drying a glass, smirks, “You’re looking happy.” Chris and Louise turn their attention to Phil, who strolls into the living space and flops himself onto the couch.

“I am.” He states simply, closing his eyes and tucking his hands behind his head.

In a flash, the three of his best friends are peering over him, three curious heads bobbing in curiosity. “So…” Louise begins. “How was your date?” None of them had ever been so interested in each other’s dates – but then again, none of them had ever liked someone so much before.

“Fantastic,” Phil sighed, looking at all of them with tired eyes. “We kissed, and we talked, and _God_ , I really like him,” he stated, rambling. PJ’s jaw dropped into a huge, surprised smile. Both Chris and Louise straightened up, letting out excited squeals. Phil was happy to see they were all as excited as he was.

 

+

**Phil: I never found out what your job was? :D** _8:14 PM_

**Dan: i work in music production! im so busy lately bc were working on an album** _8:22 PM_

**Phil: Wow! That’s super cool** _8:23 PM_

**Dan: i wish i could see you right now :(** _8:23 PM_

**Phil: Me too :( Do you know when your job will give you back to me? ^n^** _8:24 PM_

**Dan: what kind of emoji is that supposed to be?** _8:25 PM_

**Dan: FaceTime me!** _8:25 PM_

 

+

Dan decided to sneak out, one night.

**Dan: work took a break tonight. im free! pls go on a date with me, i miss your face** _4:45 PM_

**Phil: I wouldn’t miss it for the world! Call me, I don’t remember your voice** _4:46 PM_

+

 _Dan Howell has announced his upcoming concert for his album_ All for You _, and the debut live is in only two weeks! Here he is, to talk about our promotional offer to win seats!_

Phil sat up straighter on the couch, ready to listen in. Maybe, he’d gotten too attached to that album. It was his friends fault, after all. Dan Howell appeared on the TV, his cute chubby cheeks and curly hair lighting up the screen, along with his pastel pink and frilly outfit, pink and gold eye makeup and cat-eye eyeliner.

 _“Hey, everyone!” Dan Howell struck a peace sign over his eye. “I’m here today to announce my Limited Edition_ All for You _tour! There’ll only be two performances, one here in London, and the other in New York. You can buy tickets on my website, danhowell-dot-com. VIP seating begins at £150, and regular seating begins at £80. Don’t worry, if you’re unable to make the live, as a video documentary recording will be available, and the official concert comes later in the year. But, do try and come experience the magic of my Limited Edition Tour!” The singer explained._

 _He lifted up a bundle of tickets, fanning them out to reveal four, pink tickets. The ink shone under the lights, as he waved them around. “The show has let me run a promotion, so you can win the best tickets in the house – front row of my London show!” He said, excitedly. “So, call in, and you could win tickets to my Limited Edition_ All for You _tour! I hope to see you there!!” He winked, and the television clip changed to the shining number of the show._

“Can we call in, Peej?” Phil asked, pushing his shoulder excitedly.

“So, you fell in love with Dan Howell too, now? I blame Chris and Louise,” PJ whined, grabbing his mobile phone and tapping in the number.

Phil bounced up and down excitedly, “Let up, PJ! You totally think he’s cool,” Phil argued, pointing at him accusingly.

PJ rolled his eyes, nodding nonetheless. The phone rung over and over, PJ putting it on loudspeaker, before the line went dead. Phil sighed, and PJ tried again, and this time, they were met with the same, sad demise. Before they knew it, the TV announced the end of the competition. Phil, distraught, slumped into the crease of the couch.

Some teenage fangirl, who was definitely more deserving of the tickets than he, probably won.

_Dan Howell appeared back onto the screen, beaming brightly. “Already, I’m pleased to announce the winner of the four, front row seat tickets to my Limited Edition London Show!” Dan paused for suspense, holding the tickets out to the camera, “Congratulations, Louise Pentland! See you at the show!” Dan giggled, winking once more at the camera, before the screen went black._

Before Phil could react to the fact that his friend Louise had won the competition, and would no doubt invite he and his friends, his phone buzzed to life. A beautiful picture of Louise appeared on the screen, but the sound that followed was definitely the opposite. Louise screeched down the line, “DID YOU SEE THAT? ON THE TELEVISION?! I WON! AND DAN HOWELL SAID MY NAME! FUCKING DAN HOWELL SAID MY NAME AND I’M GOING TO HIS CONCERT!! DID YOU SEE, PHIL? DID YOU SEE?!”

Phil chuckled, excitement bubbling down the line, “I did see! I did! I’m so happy for you,” Phil cried. “Oh, Louise, please let me go to the concert! I’ll do anything, please,” He asked, dragging out his begs.

“Of course!” She assured. “Who else to take other than my three favourite boys? Hold on. I gotta go, Chris is calling me. He must’ve seen on TV!” With that, the call flat-lined, and Phil fell into the crease of the couch, a grin beaming on his face.

**+**

**Two Weeks Later**

**+**

Dan awoke to the feeling of his phone buzzing under his pillow, and his alarm’s muffled blaring. He rolled over, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He didn’t want to get up, but knowing he had to rehearse, and tonight was his first concert, and that he could see Phil after he finished the two of them – it made him almost leap out of bed.

Dan missed Phil. He missed having someone that liked him for _him_ , and didn’t care (or, really, didn’t _know_ ) he was a celebrity. He’d only seen Phil once since their last date, and it was rudely interrupted by Heidi, who had forgotten about a photoshoot they were to do. In truth, Dan is getting pretty exhausted hiding behind his disguise. Even video chatting with Phil, he had to prep his face and hair to keep up appearances. He did wish that they were together, though.

Maybe, he thinks, he should just tell Phil that’s he’s the famous singer. But, he doesn’t want Phil’s opinion on him to change, or for his privacy to be obliterated. Maybe it’s safer to just play the waiting game – or, to phase Phil out entirely. He can’t think of doing such a thing, right now, though. Dan’s too engrossed in this super attractive and utterly kind guy.

Dan leaves his hair natural, giving it a quick comb through. He dusts some highlighter on his cheeks, making them appear fuller, and does some simple, natural eye make-up. He goes to pick a lip gloss colour that will match his outfit for leaving the hotel to practice at the venue, when his eyes spot a glittering pink tube. He smiles, reminiscing on the day he’d kissed Phil, and gotten glitter on the area his stubble had previously been.

Dan selected this tube of lip gloss over the others, and went to change. Today, he was wearing a peachy pink two-piece set, that flowed easily over his body. He paired it with mesh socks and platform sneakers, and a dainty necklace. Grabbing his backpack, he shoved his phone, laptop, and hotel card inside, and made his way into the living area.

Heidi stood by the door, ready to go, and together they made their way to the lobby. Dan, used to the oncoming wave of paparazzi and desperate fans, braced himself for the oncoming action. As he stepped out into the sun, he was suddenly attacked from all angles. He gave them all small waves and gentle smiles, as Heidi shouted at them, “Clear the way!”

Dan posed for one photo, quickly, before Heidi got too worried about his safety and snatched him up again. He waved everyone off, and slumped into the back of his car.

Dan felt anticipation build up in his chest as they neared the concert venue, a large stadium. Dan loved everything about performing, from the costumes, make-up, dancing, singing, and the fans in the crowd ready to sing right back. Even the pre-show jitters – it’s all made up for when he hears the thousands of people who care about his music just as much as he does.

Entering through the back, Dan’s car pulled to a stop in a deserted area, and he was lead backstage to his dressing room. Inside, magazines piled high beside lightbulb lined mirrors. Big, comfortable couches and a large TV provided easier comfort for the hours he spent waiting for the concert to begin. A small table of food was placed in the middle, with various drinks, too. A large make-up box, and his rack of costumes, sit in the corner, awaiting his use.

He put his backpack on the couch, and made his way to the stage, where the stage crew were busy setting up his displays. People rushed back and forth across the stage and the seating areas, moving things and hooking things up and testing various accessories. Dan almost felt like a burden, doing nothing but waiting around for Heidi’s signal.

“Let’s rehearse each song individually, and then do a full rehearsal. We can do a dress rehearsal closer to audience entry time,” a voice explained.

Heidi was next to speak, “Let’s not rehearse each song individually. He already knows each one really well, but we haven’t had a lot of full rehearsals yet. I’d rather do two of those, if I’m honest – but I don’t want to tire him out,” she explained, gesturing him over. The woman she was speaking to had a piercing over her eyebrow and wore a cool pair of lazy dungarees. “Dan, can you get ready for rehearsal? You’ll have to be on the Toaster Platform,” she explained, guiding him over to a man in a reflective vest.

He handed Dan a microphone, ready to explain how the Toaster Lift worked, but Dan already knew. He perched himself onto the platform, and he heard his music filter out through the stadium. He waited until just a few moments before his verse kicked in, before signalling to the lift director. The man nodded, counting down from three, and suddenly, Dan was launched high into the air.

He struck a pose, for the single moment he was flying still in mid-air. He landed with bent legs, receiving awed glances from the few people watching him. He’d practiced this multiple times. He could hear the music playing in his earpiece, and sung along into the microphone. Walking across the stage how he’d rehearsed a thousand times before, interacting with the stage dancers and skipping down the nosebleed.

As the song came to a close, he imagined just how it would play out – the curtain would close before him, and he’d hear the muffled and muddled screams of fans in the audience. He’d hurry backstage for a change of costume, before going out and singing again and again. Dan grinned widely.

It was around 3:00 PM when they were ready for a dress rehearsal. Dan pulled his ear-piece out, taking a sip from a near-empty water bottle, when a man ran up to him and Heidi. “You don’t want to spoil the set list; I hear?” He asked, hands on his knees to catch his breath.

Dan shook his head, and the man continued, composure recollecting itself. Dan wiped the sweat from his forehead with a towel that Heidi had thrown at him, moments before. “We’ve already got a group of people outside, waiting for the concert. We can feed the music through your earpiece again, and shut off the microphone, if you’d like?”

“Yes please,” Dan agreed. The man understood his directions and went over to the electrical booth. Dan turned to Heidi, who thrummed her fingers on the back of her clipboard. “Can we give something to the fans?” Dan asked, using the towel to continue to pat at his sweaty body. His signature curls had tightened into ringlets on top of his head, and he twirled them around his fingers.

“Such as?” Heidi asked, curiously.

“I don’t know… Merchandise, or food or something, for coming out early.” Dan thought, “Please, it’ll be nice?”

“I’m so lucky you’re not tough to deal with, and your actual personality is good press,” she laughed, rolling her eyes and dialling for _Pizza Express_. Dan cheered, clapping his hands together, before heading backstage to prep for dress rehearsal.

 

+

Phil adorned his hair with a pink, rose budded flower garland that Louise had given him. He wore a pristine, white dress shirt, and the pastel blue jeans he’d bought on a whim last year.

Louise looked fantastic. She wore a gorgeous, holographic striped dress that had tulle underneath, and as she spun, it fanned out into a beautiful, ballerina-like skirt. She’d perfected her hair and make-up, which was to be expected of her, and looked to be the most excited for the concert tonight.

Chris decorated his hair with his own flower crown, and sprinkled glitter over his cheeks and eyelids, excusing himself with a casual, “This is going to be the best night of my life, I can wear what I want,” despite the fact that none of his friends cared.

PJ, well, he just went as he was. He didn’t feel the need to dress up, to which Louise argued, “I could have sold that ticket for thousands of pounds,” but couldn’t persuade him into wearing plenty of pink.

Together, the four of them got prepared in Phil and PJ’s flat, before heading out to the train station and catching the tube. They weren’t alone on the train, surrounded by a sea of fangirls dressed in pastel colours and adorned in plastic flowers and glowing fairy lights. Odd looks were spared their way, being the only adults, and three of them being rather tall men. Pushing that thought aside, however, they arrived at the station and followed the hoarding crowds toward the concert venue.

As they found their seats, they all gasped, shocked to discover that Dan Howell was right. These were amazing seats, they had a view of the entire stage, the rest of the arena, and were directly on the end of the nosebleed. They could see the stage gorgeously decorated in pink blooming flowers and climbing vines, and a giant, glowing tree that changed colours and spun slowly. Phil gasped, it all looked so beautiful. It made him think of Dan, who was probably stuck in his workplace right about now.

 

+

“You’re on in five!” Someone called from the hallway outside of Dan’s dressing room. The make-up artist, Christine, finished up on his face, and his vocal coach, Elliott, ran over some voice exercises with him. He pulled off his jumper, revealing his pink and sparkly outfit, checked his curls were in order one last time, and made his way to the back of the stage.

Sitting himself on the toaster lift’s edge, he heard the crowd chant, _Dan! Dan! Dan!_ He gushed, taking a sip of water and clutching his microphone in his hand. He looked to Heidi one last time for good luck, when he saw the lights go out above him, and the screams of the crowd became louder and louder.

The fluttering in his stomach grew wilder and wilder as he felt the music kick in and thump in his chest. He wondered if this ecstatic and exhilarating feeling was felt throughout the entire crowd tonight.

Turning on his toes, he crouched, ready for the lift to fling him into the air. His verse was about to begin, and he nodded to the lift director, ensuring he was ready. Within moments, he was shot into the sky above the stage, where he posed again in mid-air. Screams rattled over the entire arena, shots of light from photographs dazzled his eyes, and the swaying lights of glow sticks glistened in the darkness. He grinned – this was all for him.

Dancing and singing his way across the stage, he put his all into the performance. By the end of his song, the crowd was already pumped up and insanely excited. Dan walked to the centre of the stage as the lights went down, effectively calming the crowds, but filling them with intense anticipation. “It’s so nice to see you all here, tonight!” He grinned, and the arena replied with delighted squeals.

“Are you excited for my concert?” He asked, poking out his tongue and flicking the audience a peace sign. Once again, the crowd shook with screams. Dan wondered if their throats hurt at all. “Well, that’s great, ‘cause I am too!”

The lights flickered suddenly, like paparazzi on the red carpet – exactly what he was going for. He stood in silence, admiring the crowd around him, who seemed to care a great deal for him. Without missing a beat, his brain instantly flickered to the weeks before, with Phil, who liked him as a normal person. Would these people be the same?

When he hadn’t said anything for a while, pulling eagerness from the crowd, they calmed down. As soon as the entire arena was silent, he brought the microphone back up to his mouth, “Welcome, London, to the first of two nights of my All for You Special Tour!!” And he skipped off stage to the static buzzing of his fans.

When he arrived back on stage, he’d been fitted into a new outfit – a pastel pink two-piece shirt and shorts, designed to look like stylish athleisure. He loved it – it was freeing and cute. The curtains had fallen, so he was hidden from view, but he knew this quick costume change would inspire even more excitement from the arena.

The beat began, and the curtains immediately dropped, revealing himself. Dan wound himself through his back up dancers, playing around with the props and dazzling the crowd with each and every note.

_Stop being so nice to me,_

_It's a lie, all of it is a lie._

_Just because you're so kind to me,_

_I'm falling more and more in love with you._

_I'm always by your side,_

_But... we're only friends?_

_My heart feels like it's being torn apart when I keep hiding my feelings –_

_It's painful to watch you while holding in feelings I desperately want to confess._

_I won't be able to take it much longer;_

_They'll overflow and the words "I love you" will spill from my lips!_

He really loved this song. He’d written it a few years ago, and found it in his high school bedroom’s bedside drawer, and decided to rewrite it – which a more mature twist, but more fitting to his current style.

He knew his next song required him on the tip of the nosebleed, so he finished at the very end, grinning to the crowd. Members of the audience around the edges of the stage desperately waved and reached out for him, so he flashed them a smile, reaching down to high-five a few hands. He was about to begin, when he spots a familiar face standing right below him.

His hair is raven black, but this time he sees it, it’s adorned with a flower garland. The rainbow of lights flickering along his pale skin, illuminating it almost celestially. His blue eyes shine as he looks up at Dan – and he still hasn’t realised it’s the boy he met yesterday dancing around on stage, and Dan doesn’t know how to feel about that – the fact that his almost-boyfriend is looking directly at him, with almost as much adoration as he does when they’re on a date, but he can’t realise who it is.

Dan’s paused, frozen in spot. The crowd doesn’t seem to notice his sudden apprehension and nerves, as he stares directly at Phil. Dan doesn’t break eye contact with Phil, who seems wildly confused.

Suddenly, his ocean-blue eyes widen to resemble the size of golf balls, and he slaps his hand over his mouth; he’s realised that _his_ Dan is Dan Howell, World’s Pop Prince.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh oh. How do you think Phil feels? Betrayed? Surprised? Hurt? Should Dan worry about having his cover blown? Let me know! In the comments below, or submit a question to my tumblr. [check it out!](fivepixelphan.tumblr.com). You can also check out other forms of contact and some of my others fics there!! :)


	5. Great Little Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil has only just realised that his crush is Dan Howell... How will Dan react after being discovered?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey. IDK what to say other than sorry for taking so long. I'm up to chapter 8 on my drafts, anyway.

The people around Phil begin to notice the debacle, as the pair stare into each other’s eyes, and the crowd begins to get reckless at Dan’s awkward stillness. Dan _almost_ can’t break out of this spell of confusing emotions, though he quickly snaps back into focus, understanding that the concert was more important, right now.

As he wraps up his next song, he runs backstage for another costume change, but Heidi is running after him, this time. “What the _hell_ was that?” She screeched, as stage crew pulled off Dan’s clothes. “You were frozen _still_! What happened?” She pleaded for answers, her tone softening to a more worried sound.

“Look, Heidi, I’ll explain later…” Dan whispered, as someone clicked a decorative, floral clip into his hair. “Can you do me a favour, please? It’s really important to me,” He said, as he tied up his new, sparkly pink boots. Heidi nodded, getting her pen ready to write down his request. “I need you to grab someone for me at the end of the show.”

The concert carries on perfectly fine, if not a little apprehensive whenever the star approached the far end of the stage. The concert ends, with Dan bowing, surrounded by an explosive round of applause, and he dashes off stage and into his dressing room, locking it shut behind him.

 

+

Phil had noticed pairs of eyes watching him closely over the duration of the concert, but he didn’t care. He could hardly concentrate on Dan Howell performing on stage, anymore, when the singer up there was the boy he admired so dearly.

How was he so stupid not to realise? Heart in his throat, he goes over all the pointers he’s missed. He never found out Dan’s last name – Dan seemed surprised when he’d mentioned he liked Dan Howell – Dan’s heavily contoured cheeks, and ridiculously large sunglasses – His apprehensive behaviour near the paparazzi… His job in music production… They were all minor incidents that pointed to one, very alarming fact: Dan, this sweet guy Phil had met in a village in the Cotswolds, was Dan Howell, the most adored male singer in the world.

His friends seem to notice his shift in behaviour, asking if he’s okay – but he just nods and returns to thinking. Why hadn’t Dan told him? Maybe, there were too many reasons he just didn’t understand, and probably never would. It’s a shock, but Phil can’t decide whether it’s a happy one or not. He wished things could have been a bit simpler, and the Dan he’d met had been, well, just that. He likes both versions of the boy, though the lie seemed to hurt his heart a little, too.

He sees a woman with a clipboard trying to navigate her way through the seats, being pushed and shoved by fans. Phil feels sorry for her, she’s clearly working here, her lanyard as proof, and the look on her face – scared – says she’s not enjoying it. He’s in the best seat in the house, with heaps of room. He strolls over to her and screams over the sound of Dan singing on stage – which is still amazing, if he’s honest – “Are you okay?!”

She nods, pointing to the fencing that lines the stage. Phil understands, and clutches tightly onto her wrist to guide her through the bustling crowds. Once he’s back by his three friends, she smiles, silently thanking him, and unlocks the gate, sliding in. She stands at the edge of the stage, watching Phil closely for the rest of the concert. Phil couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable, her vibrantly green eyes staring him down. He tries to enjoy the rest of the concert – but all of the distractions are terribly off-putting.

Dan wraps up the concert, and Phil is left in a daze. Louise and Chris squeal in a mixture of emotions, happiness, sadness and adrenaline. The make-up on Louise’s eyes had run down her cheeks a little, and the glitter decorating Chris’s eyes and cheeks had spread across his entire face and hands. PJ seemed to thoroughly enjoy the concert, too, despite his earlier mild apprehension.

They were prepared to walk out and leave the venue like everyone else, Phil trailing and wondering if he should text Dan, when the woman from earlier had stopped them. She stood in front of the four of them, eyeing them with squinted eyes. “Are any of you Phil Lester?” she asked, suddenly, checking her clipboard before looking up again.

Phil stepped forward, “I am,” he said, wearily and confused. “Hey – are you okay? You seemed a bit freaked out back there,” He politely asked. She nodded, and Phil’s company seemed majorly confused.

“I’m Heidi Samford,” she greeted, a smile appearing on her face. She stuck her hand out for Phil to shake. Phil noticed the lanyard on her neck, and in the bright lights of the arena, could read her job description. _Dan Howell – MANAGER_. He gulps, suddenly nervous. “I have someone who would like to speak with you,” she grinned, tapping her pen against the clipboard.

“W-What? I-,” Phil stammered. Was she referring to Dan? He cocked his head to the side, and Heidi pointed discreetly to her job description, silently assuring Phil that _yes, Dan Howell would like to speak with Phil Lester_.

“Is everything okay, Phil?” PJ asked, stepping in. Phil turned away from Heidi, to see his three friend’s faces coated in worry.

Phil felt that he couldn’t express the situation to his friends. What would they think? What would they say? Phil could hardly comprehend the ordeal himself – he had to lie, for Dan’s sake, too. “Uh, yeah. I’m sure it’s just something about work…” He lied. His friends seemed to debate this lie, before Heidi pitched in.

“That’s exactly right. When the venue heard you were coming to the show, via your twitter, we thought we’d interview you – we love your photography, and would love to hire you for future shows!” She smiled, sparing a sideways glance to Phil. He smiled softly, thanking her. She seemed quite glad, herself.

“You guys go ahead of me. I’ll make my own way home, this could take a while,” Phil explained, confidence building up. He felt guilt simmer inside of him as he told his story, but he knew he’d feel worse if he ruined something for Dan.

“Oh, okay. Text me, when you’re finished,” PJ smiled, guiding his friends out.

“Make sure Louise gets home safely!” Phil called from behind.

“What about me?” Chris screeched, jokingly.

Phil chuckled, before turning his attention back to Heidi. She beckoned him to follow her with a wave of her hand, and he strode beside her. “How did you know I was a photographer?” He asked, curiously.

“Dan told me.” She answered, pushing her hair behind her ear. “He saw you in the audience, and asked to speak to you,” She informed him, turning a corner quickly. She seemed to lead him through the maze that was the arena. “Were those your friends?” She asked. To Phil, it seemed she didn’t want an answer.

Phil walked behind her in silence, until they came to a single door in a corridor. Taped to the door was a laminated sheet of paper with Dan’s name on the front, and Phil guessed it was his dressing room. He turned to Heidi, about to ask if he could go inside, when her personality suddenly flipped.

Her smile dropped and she growled quietly, “Look; I don’t know who you are or what Dan wants,” she said, swirling her finger around Phil’s face, “But, if you fuck Dan over, or do anything wrong – you’ll be paying.” She warned, stepping away from him. Then, like magic, her demeanour spun again, and she smiled, “Please, take care of him. Knock when you’re ready.” She walked away down the corridor, until Phil couldn’t see her anymore.

Phil didn’t quite know what she meant. Did she not understand the terms that Phil believed he and Dan were _almost_ on? He wouldn’t do a thing to destroy Dan’s career, or his life. Dazed at her crazy personality, Phil shook off his thoughts of her, and focused on the problem at hand.

He curled his fist, gently tapping on the door.

Phil heard a rumbling from inside, before a clicking of the lock. The doorhandle spun, and the door swung open to reveal Dan Howell. He was wrapped in a white robe, his curls messy and frizzy. His make-up had come off, and he seemed a lot less glamorous than he did on stage. He looked similar to the Dan he knew himself. In the corner of the room, discarded costumes lay in a pile. Phil felt his heart pump fiercely in his chest.

“Hello,” Dan said softly, smile ever so delicately gracing his lips. When Phil didn’t reply, he muttered, “Come in, you can sit anywhere.” As Phil slowly walked in, Dan shut the door behind him. It felt surreal, to Phil, to be in the same room as your crush, and a world famous celebrity.

Phil sat himself on the edge of the couch, and Dan hadn’t dared move from his spot by the door. He hid his hands behind his back, resting on them. For the first time since knowing each other, an awkward silence hung above their heads.

Phil was the first to speak, after the silence became too loud, “Well, that was a surprise,” he chuckled light heartedly.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you…” Dan muttered, ducking his head.

Phil’s brows knitted together, going over the situation in his head again, as he asked quietly, “Why didn’t you tell me?” It sounded accusatory, but his true intentions were just curiosity.

Dan brought in a rather large intake of breath, “The day I met you, I was supposed to be rehearsing for this tour. My dance coach fell sick, and I had nothing to do. For a while, I’d wanted a day to be myself, to escape the paparazzi and to live like everyone else for a change – not to say I don’t love my job. So, I disguised myself, and went somewhere nice.

“When I arrived in that village, I felt so free. I felt _normal_. No one paid extra attention to me, no one asked for my photo; I was just another person. It was lovely, for a change. And, then I saw you, and you were twisted over the edge of the bridge and you were snapping photo after photo of the scenery. I thought to myself, ‘Wow, someone appreciates the smaller things, like I do’, and I decided to talk to you. When you took me to lunch and we got to talking, I decided I already liked you.

“You were so captivating – your personality and your behaviour, everything about you. And, you were the first person I’d met in years, who actually wanted to know me for _me_ , and not for the celebrity. I was so surprised, and when you asked me on another date, I wanted to say yes, because you liked me.

“I didn’t want you to think anything different of me, or treat me like everyone else. I figured, I’d just stay in my disguise as long as I could. I guess I didn’t think everything through well enough.” Dan played with his fingers, as he finished his speech.

Phil is silent for a long time, and Dan lets him be. “I was going to ask you out, on the night we kissed,” Phil mutters, eventually, pressing the toes of his shoes into the carpet. Dan’s head flicked up, eyes wide. “Knowing you’re Dan Howell doesn’t change the way I feel about you,” Phil admitted.

“Wait, really?” Dan asked, rushing over to Phil’s side, sinking himself into the couch cushions.

Phil nodded, “I mean, it’s cool –,” he scoffed. “But, I like _you_ , for the guy I met in the Cotswalds,” he whispered, looking into Dan’s brown eyes. He could see golden flecks sprinkled through the chocolatey abyss, and he almost melted. Suddenly, Dan leaned forward and pushed his warm lips up against Phil’s. Dan smelt like cosmetics, and sweat, and sweet-smelling cologne.

“Can I ask you, then?” Dan whispered against his lips, “If you’d be my boyfriend?” He pressed his lips to the corner of Phil’s mouth, making Phil blush again.

“Are you sure it’s okay, though?” Phil asked, worried. He knew nothing of relationships with and between celebrities. What safety measures would they have to take? Would they have to hide? Phil didn’t know Dan Howell liked boys, that’s for sure. “I mean – you’re not even out as gay, and what could that do to your career-.”

“It’s okay. We’ll work something out, I’ll talk to Heidi, later,” Dan shushed him, pressing the side of his fingers to Phil’s chapped lips. “What’s your answer?” He whispered under his breath, and Phil felt Dan stare right through him.

“Yes, of course,” Phil answered, leaning up to kiss Dan, so hard he pushed the boy over onto the couch. A tiny squeal escaped Dan’s lips, making Phil giggle.

“Well, hello, boyfriend,” Dan mumbled, teasingly. Phil giggled, kissing his forehead and pulling away.

A memory rushed to the forefront of Phil’s mind – the moment Dan’s song came over the radio in the café, on their date. And, how he’d gushed to Dan about liking Dan Howell and his music. Phil blushed, looking away from Dan. “I can’t believe you let me gush to you about how much I like your music,” he muttered under his breath, hiding his face in Dan’s chest.

Dan kissed his temple, “I thought it was really cute, if that helps,” he laughed.

Phil turned his head for a moment, glancing at the mirror across the room from them. Dan was resting underneath him, arms strung around his neck, and ankles intertwined. He liked this view.

Phil fell back onto the couch beside, heaving a sigh, “This is a _Hannah Montana_ ordeal, if I’ve ever seen one,” he comments, half-distraught, half-joking. Dan cracks into laughter, and Phil thinks it’s the best sound he’s ever heard. It was as if true happiness turned itself into a noise, and Phil wanted to hear it all the time.

Dan went silent, suddenly, a worried look on his face. Phil leaned over, placing a hand on his thigh. “You know… We have to keep this secret, right?” Dan asked. Phil nodded, immediately. He wanted to understand what Dan had to deal with, every day. “Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want too. But, I can’t have the world knowing I’m gay, yet. And, if we tell anyone, even Heidi, word could slip out.”

Phil nodded again, pressing a kiss to Dan’s temple. “Do you trust me? He asked, looking into Dan’s eyes, searching for an answer.

“Of course,” Dan answered. Phil noticed, in the chocolate abyss, that his emotion didn’t waver.

 

+

“Who was that?” Heidi mumbled over a pen in her mouth, as they stepped into the car. Dan was to collect his belongings from the hotel, as tomorrow, they were flying to New York for the final performance. Heidi had her laptop balanced on her thighs, an internet stick plugged into a USB port, and she was replying to emails.

“An old friend of mine,” Dan quickly answered, leaning his head against the window. As the car took off, his skull vibrated against the glass. He watched the lights glide past him, hoping that his tale was believable enough for Heidi. She quirked an eyebrow at him, expecting him to elaborate why this _old friend_ had caused such a fuss. “He was one of my best friends in high school, and we, you know, fell out because of my career. I saw him and wanted to talk to him, I’ve been keeping up on his work for a while, now.”

Heidi pulled the pen out from between her lips, pursing her lips. A troubled expression fell upon her face. Dan looked at her, “Why? Why do you look like that?” Heidi looked away from him, covering her face with her hands. “What did you do, Heidi?” He asked, leaning forward. His seatbelt jammed, slamming him back into his seat.

Heidi blushed, looking away. “I didn’t know who he was or what he needed! I… I might have threatened him,” She admitted, eyes shifting. Dan’s jaw dropped, and he was ready to wreak havoc in the back seat of a limousine, but she defended herself, “I just wanted to make sure everything was okay, and to tell him not to hurt you. I said he would pay if he fucked you over…” She played with her fingers.

Dan could never get over how much Heidi cared for him, and made sure everything was okay and in order. She went to great lengths to support him and to keep him happy and safe, and he could never thank her enough. He felt guilty for lying to her, but he knew there was no way out of it. Unclipping his seatbelt, he slid over to her side. “Oh, thank you, Heidi,” He whispered, hugging her.

“I didn’t wreck anything?” She asked, pressing her face into his chest.

“Of course not!” Dan assured, smoothing her hair out, “You were just looking out for me.”

“Are you going to see him again? I’ll get something to apologise!” She replied, and before Dan could tell her 1) Yes, 2) You don’t have too, she was already typing away on her computer, looking for apology presents. Dan smiled to himself, pulling out his phone, and sliding his seatbelt over himself.

**Dan: i hope you got home ok :) heidi says shes sorry for threatening you, she wants to give you an apology present ^_^ after i go to new york, i have an entire three months to myself, occasionally doing interviews for my album here and there, before i begin practice for the official tour. im all yours during that time :* x** _12:44 AM_

**Phil: She doesn’t have to do that! I know she was just looking out for you, I would have done the same :p Three months? All to spend with you? I’m the happiest man alive :O See you in a week? Phil x** _1:03 AM_

**Phil: Shit, you’re probably asleep. And tired** _1:03 AM_

**Phil: Goodnight, boyfriend ;)** _1:05 AM_

**Phil: Sorry, I just wanted to say that…** _1:07 AM_

**Dan: good morning, boyfriend :)** _5:43 AM_

 

+

**[@danhowell posted a new picture: _the first special concert, over! best concert ever, i think :D see you soon, new york!_ ]**

**[@danhowell is now following @phillester_]**

+

Phil feels guilt seep through him as he types Dan’s name into Google, and tacks ‘relationships’ onto the end. He knows he shouldn’t pry, but when any possible information is plastered all over the internet, he couldn’t help himself to discover Dan’s past. Phil can’t decipher exactly why, whether it’s curiosity or if he feels jealousy pump up in his heart.

Phil clicks on a blue link, _A Detailed History of Dan Howell’s Relationships: Rumoured or Otherwise_. A page loads, and a picture of Dan appears, with wildly curly hair and a purple pullover on. The article discusses Dan’s extensive list of love songs, but surprisingly short list of love interests. Pictured are celebrities such as Jennifer Lawrence, Kendall Jenner, Ariana Grande, and Zoe Sugg. Phil read on, learning about the rumours.

_J-Law and Dan were rumoured to be together after starring as an overly in love couple in a movie in 2013. They were featured for less than five minutes, but rumours about the two blew up on the internet after the premiere. Jennifer tweeted out in October 2013, declaring that she and Dan were just good friends; but who knows? This movie also boosted Jennifer’s career._

_Kendall Jenner and Howell met at a fashion show where they both walked the runway, in early 2014. The two were then seen at the after-party, dancing together. There was a silence between them for a few months, but that July, they went luxury sailing together, with a collection of other celebrity friends. Rumours emerged as multiple selfies were uploaded to Dan’s Instagram (@danhowell). Fans began to speculate even further when Kendall was asked what she thought of Dan, and answered, “He’s a really great guy. I do love him, he’s fantastic.”_

_Dan co-wrote a song with Ariana Grande in 2015, that described a detailed, happy romance. Although this is the only evidence of any romance between them, speculation and shipping followed closely._

Phil rolled his eyes. All this information the shitty gossip website was spouting out seemed to be a long shot, reaching out for any sort of information to feed desperate fans. He was ready to give up, and just admit that Dan’s past had been solely acting or PR, when Zoe Sugg’s name was bolded beneath.

_Zoe Sugg has the most evidence against her name as having dated Dan, either multiple times, or secretly long term. The pair met in 2012 and quickly became best friends. Since then, they’ve been seen together very frequently, mentioned each other constantly, worked together on many projects, accompanied each other down the red carpet, and been voted 2015’s best celebrity friends. The two have never explicitly declared they were dating, however there is much evidence and speculation from fans, along with fanfiction dedicated to their ship._

Phil felt a lump rise in his throat, especially as he scrolled past a picture of Zoe kissing Dan’s pink, rosy cheeks. Maybe they had dated, before. Maybe, they had always liked each other. Dan had said he was gay, but they seemed so close, Phil couldn’t help but speculate, himself. He wanted to call Dan, and ask.

He heard PJ, Chris, and Louise chatting loudly in the living room. Phil wondered whether it’d be safe to call Dan, in case they overheard, but the urge to find out more about Dan’s past was beginning to ache. What about the _real_ Dan’s past? Who did he date? He wanted to find out even more – and the pair had scheduled to Skype in a few minutes, anyway.

Phil stood by the door of the living room, leaning against the doorframe as his friend’s laughed crackled through the room. He’d already told them that he’d gotten together with Dan, although, he kept the detail about him being a world famous celebrity they liked locked tight behind his lips. “Uh, guys,” he began, walking closer to the table. They all turned their attention to him. “I’m gonna call my boyfriend, can you guys keep it down a little bit, please?” He asked, blushing as he uttered the label.

His friends cooed, teasing him. “Oh, sure,” Louise laughed, “Look at that blush,” she stood up, pinching his cheeks.

They all laughed, playfully watching him burn red. Eventually PJ, being the more mature of all four of them, said, “Yeah, go ahead. I’ll try and keep these two quiet,” he laughed, pointing at them accusingly. Phil thanked him, and ducked back to his room.

Phil plugged his headphones in, finding Dan’s contact and pressing the green call button. Within moments, Dan’s smiling face appeared on the screen. He beamed brightly when he looked at Phil, chin resting in his hands and cheeks blushing. “Hello,” he greeted, twirling a finger in his hair. It was mildly curly, and when he pulled his finger away, the curl bounced back into place. Phil thought it was adorable.

“Hello, you. How’s New York?” He asked, fixing up his fringe as he noticed in his face cam it had split.

The two chat for a moment, before Dan noticed Phil’s apprehension to talk. “What’s wrong? You look like you’re upset about something,” Dan said, voice crackling over the bad connection.

Phil didn’t know where to start, stumbling over his question, “Do… H-Have you and Zoe Sugg ever dated?” He asked quickly, looking down at his feet instead of at the screen. “Or, like, thought about it?” He blushed, looking back up at Dan, who scoffed.

“You googled me, didn’t you?” Dan accused. He sounded annoyed, but he chuckled cutely, hiding his cheeks behind his fingers. Phil nodded lamely, defending himself by declaring his interest. “Well, to answer your question: No. We’re strictly great friends. I thought I already told you I was gay, Phil…” Dan muttered.

“You did, but I was just curious.” He admitted, scratching at his finger nails. “I also wanted to know about previous _you_ relationships, if you were willing to share. I’ll tell you mine, too.” Phil smiled lightly. He wanted to know everything about Dan, truthfully. Everything that made this precious boy who he was.

Dan blushed. “Well, uh…” He looked up, and told Phil about how it was hard to find time to date anyone when you were a closeted celebrity, and how he was incredibly lucky to have Phil. Phil, deeply moved by Dan’s sentiment, grinned. “Tell me about your past relationships,” Dan said, poking out his tongue.

“Uh…” Phil had only had two serious relationships. One had ended two years ago when she cheated on him with a man she’d met at her friend’s Bachelorette Party. He cringed at the tale as he told Dan, who laughed cheekily. The other was a boy in high school, but Phil had cracked under the pressure of hiding from his peers, and broke it off. He’d had a few minor relationships here and there, like he assumed everyone his age had, but Phil assured Dan that it was all in the past, and he didn’t mind anymore.

“Look, Phil. You’ll just have to understand, if you want to be with me – that there’ll be rumours, and lies, and all sorts of stuff made up about me. You have to brush it all off.” He stated, looking directly into the camera. “You’re the first person who has admired _me_ in so long, and I treasure that. So, you can rest assured that it’ll be all about you as long as you want it to be,” he smiled, turning pink at his declaration of affection.

Phil felt his heart swell, as he looked at Dan. His webcam was shitty and so was his microphone, and at the moment, he was a few pixels. But, in real life, he was the sweetest, funniest, cutest person he’d ever met. He wanted to stick with Dan for a long time, he thinks. He knows he’s serious about staying with Dan, about being with him and protecting him. He’s so sure, he doesn’t realise he’s said it out loud.

“God, I’m so lucky…” Dan whispers.

 

+

Somehow, PJ got roped into eavesdropping on the conversation between Phil and his mystery boyfriend. The three of them press their ears to the door, listening to Phil speak to a voice only he could hear.

“I’m serious, about being with you. I want to stay with you, and protect you…”

“That was embarrassing, don’t make me say such a thing like that again!”

“It just slipped out! But, I do mean it, I really, _really_ like you.”

“I’m blushing too much. I’m gonna hang up if you say that again!”

“That’s it! I’m hanging up!”

“I wouldn’t do that to you, you’re too cute.”

“I understand. Like I said, I’m too serious about you to do something like that.”

“Wait… What? I can’t do that! What if they don’t like me?!”

“I don’t know… Can we talk about it when you get home?”

“Okay! I’ll see you later,” a smooch sound followed, and Louise, Chris, and PJ scurried back into the lounge, perplexed by the one-sided conversation they’d just overheard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A reminder to _please > check out my tumblr, [fivepixelphan](fivepixelphan.tumblr.com), so you can keep updated on when new fics are arriving or reasons as to why they're not... You don't have too, but if you're ever wondering why a fic hasn't come, check it out :)_


	6. Introduction to Change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan returns from New York and Phil promises to treat him as normal as possible over his three month break. Their first two dates as boyfriends quickly commence, and Dan realises something about his feelings for Phil.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so very sorry that this took me so long to bring to you! I haven't been feeling very well, and I've been working on lots of stuff (that hasn't come), as well as travelling. I'm home now, and I'm starting to get better. If you follow my tumblr [fivepixelphan](fivepixelphan.tumblr.com) you'll see updates on why I haven't been uploading. It's very important to me that you understand.  
> I try not to make these updates so infrequent. I'm trying to improve.   
> I hope you enjoy this chapter!

“I’m serious, about being with you. I want to stay with you, and protect you…” As the words fell out of his mouth, Phil dropped his face in his hands, embarrassed. Not a single time in his life had he accidentally said something without realising, but suddenly, around Dan, he was confessing every chance he got.

Dan cooed from New York, chuckling down the crackling Skype line. “God,” he dragged the word out in a high pitch voice. “I’m so lucky,” he admitted, pink cheeks lighting up Phil’s screen.

“That was embarrassing, don’t make me say such a thing like that again!” Phil warned, poking his finger out towards the camera. He felt his cheeks begin to hurt, from smiling their whole conversation. He didn’t mind, this was the best he’d felt in a long time.

“No,” Dan whined, shaking his head, “Say it again!” He cheered, putting his hands together and pretending to pray.

Phil shook his head adamantly. “It just slipped out! But, I do mean it, I really, _really_ like you.” His heart leapt up into his throat. He’d forgotten what it was like to confess to someone – he felt like a teenager, too nervous and sweaty and red. Now that he was older, though, he felt the warm feeling in his heart return a lot faster.

“I really, really like you, too.” Dan echoed, rested his chin in his palm, looking away from the screen. His other hand played with the sheet he was covered by, and Phil watched his cheeks pull back into a grin that resembled Phil’s.

Phil’s face wasn’t the only thing that felt hot anymore, as he stared at Dan’s smiling face – his ears and neck burnt a blushing red, too, and his stomach tightened in delighted nerves. “I’m blushing too much. I’m gonna hang up if you say that again!” He declared, only joking.

“No,” Dan cooed, “I really, really like you,” he teased, poking his tongue out between his teeth. His cheeks were so red, now, that Phil could see them, even though the terrible camera quality made everything else look blurry.

“That’s it! I’m hanging up!” He mocked, pretending to click the _Esc_ button on his laptop.

“No!” Dan cried out, lifting his hands out and flailing them. “Don’t hang up!” He giggled, falling back onto his bed, cheekily.

“I wouldn’t do that to you, you’re too cute.” Phil replied, confidence bubbling up in his chest.

Dan giggled some more, blush softening. He sighed, “But, hey – don’t go telling anyone else that,” he muttered, lazily pointing a finger at Phil as a warning.

Phil understood. He didn’t want to wreck the career that Dan had spent so long building up. His position in the grand scheme of the world was too powerful to get in the way of. He gulped, “I understand. Like I said, I’m too serious about you to do something like that.” Dan smiled softly.

“Would you… Maybe one day later…” Dan started, looking up. His eyes seemed to trace something on the ceiling, before he looked back to the screen. “Later, can I introduce you as my friend? Or, as _Dan Howell’s_ friend?” Dan asked.

Phil’s jaw dropped, surprised. He couldn’t do that! He could already feel the stares from paparazzi and Dan’s fans, and no one knew who he was. And, how was Dan even supposed to do that? How would they pretend they met? “Wait… What? I can’t do that! What if they don’t like me?!” He cried, pushing his bottom lip out. What if they _did_ hate him? He knew that the people behind their screens on the internet could be cruel and ruthless. He couldn’t tell if he was prepared to deal with it aimed at him. He wondered how Dan felt when criticism so biased was attacking him.

Dan quickly retracted his statement, “You don’t have to, it’s okay! It’d just be easier, later, to hang out if everyone knew we were friends. Or, uh… _boyfriends_.” He muttered, pressing his hand to his mouth, “They won’t know _that_ , though.”

“I don’t know…” Phil replied, drawing out the words to emphasise his discontent. “Can we talk about it when you get home?” He asked, looking hopeful.

“Of course,” Dan assured, gentle smile gracing his lips. “It’s all completely up to you,” he smiled softly, throwing Phil a thumb’s up. “Anyway, I’ll be home on Wednesday… Will you come pick me up from the hotel? I’ll text you the details,” he chatted.

“Okay! I’ll see you later,” Phil replied, blowing him a kiss through the screen. Dan giggled (the sound a song in Phil’s ears) pretending to catch the kiss and place it against his chest. Phil chuckled, waving goodbye, and Dan hung up.

 

+

Dan braced himself as he stepped out of the Arrivals door. He was suddenly bombarded with camera flashes, excited squeals, desperate cries and annoying questions. Heidi and a security guard helped clear the way so Dan could wheel his suitcase through the airport with a bit more ease. He stopped occasionally to wave to fans and to pose for photos, but he couldn’t wait to get out of there.

He clambered into the back seat of his car, which drove him back to a hotel where Phil would be in an hour. After speculation from Heidi as to why he wouldn’t want to just go home and relax for a few days, he’d finally managed to spout some lie about convenience and settle her worries. In this hotel, they even had separate rooms, so Dan was able to get ready and sneak out without Heidi even knowing.

“Heidi, the jetlag is killing me,” he whined as they ascended through the hotel in the elevator. It was a lie. The metal doors spread open and revealed a long hall. Heidi checked her key card and directed him to their side-by-side rooms.

“Well, I’ll leave you be. You really deserve these next few rest days. You don’t have anything major for three months – rest up!” She smiled lightly, as they dragged their bags down the hall, finally coming to a stop in front of two large doors.

Dan smiled, thanking her, and slid his card into the slot. The doors clicked open, and revealed a rather large and beautiful hotel room. A wall, which was essentially two very large panes of glass, was on the far end and displayed a gorgeous view of Hyde Park. The bathroom was beautifully modern and classy, and smelt wonderful, too.

Dan threw his suitcase on his bed, sorting out his outfit. Phil would be waiting out the front in forty minutes. Dan decided on a square cut shirt that oddly resembled a black bandana, and a pair of skinny black jeans, with zips sewn into random places. He quickly showered and brushed his teeth, applying his make-up and setting his hair into disguised order, before throwing on his clothes and checking his phone.

Coincidentally, as if on cue, as Dan picked up his phone it buzzed in his hand.

**Phil: I’m out the front! <3 ** _11:32 AM_

Dan grinned, excited to see Phil again. He felt his heart swell in excitement, _his boyfriend_ had come to pick him up. _His boyfriend_ had gone out of his way to spend time with _him_. Phil didn’t care about his celebrity persona, he liked _Dan_. Dan blushed.

Giggling to himself in bubbling excitement, Dan quickly packed his backpack with his laptop, wallet, and hotel card. He typed out a text to Heidi.

**Dan: im going to sleep. ill see you tomorrow? ily x** _11:33 AM_

**Heidi: Sure thing! Might not be around tomorrow. Like I said, rest up. Love you xx** _11:33 AM_

Dan smiled to himself, tucking his phone into his bag. He felt bad lying to Heidi, but knowing that he was getting away with seeing Phil, and possibly tomorrow too, was all worth it. He strung his bag over his shoulders, quickly escaping down to the lobby. Dan didn’t feel so threatened by any lingering paparazzi anymore when in his disguise, but as he stepped outside, it seemed not many of the camera-wielders had discovered his new location yet.

He looks around for Phil, who’s leant against his car, looking for Dan. When they spot each other, Phil waves his hand, and Dan sprints over and into Phil’s arms. Wrapping his arms around the slightly smaller boy, Phil presses a kiss to Dan’s hairline, making Dan’s heart pound against Phil’s chest. He pulls his head back, tilting it just right so their lips fit together.

It’s their first kiss in public, and it feels so right to Dan. Sure, he may be hiding his celebrity character, but he’s not hiding the fact that _he_ has a boyfriend and _he_ is very happy with how his life has unfolded. Phil’s lips are warm and soft, if not a little bit chapped along the middle, and he tastes like lollies. Dan giggles to himself at this fact, wrapping his arms tighter around Phil. “Hello,” he greets. “What do you have in store for us, today?” he asked, stepping out of Phil’s arms and into his car.

Phil sits in the driver seat, sighing. “Well,” he begins, “I thought a lot about what you said, and how you wanted to introduce me as your friend… I thought about that, and I want to do it – but for these three months, I want you to live as often as possible like a _normal person_. That’s what you wanted, right?” He grins, a hopeful look twinkling in his eye.

Dan brings his hands to his chest, positively beaming. “What do you mean?” Dan asks, leaning a little closer to the centre console between them, letting his elbow rest on top.

“Of course, I know, you’ll have to sneak out and book hotels and be in disguises and hide from my friends – but I want to treat you to living without cameras on you all the time. Would that be at all possible?” Phil asks, resting his elbow on the console too, so their faces are close.

“It will be hard, but I accept the challenge,” Dan grins, his fingers brushing a few of Phil’s ivory hairs back into his fringe. “What do you have planned?” He asks, a curious sparkle glistening over his features. He bites his lip, playing with his fingers. Dan has so desperately wanted to be normal for so long, and Phil is giving him exactly what he wants.

“Well, I have a picnic basket in the boot, for starters,” Phil grins, pointing his thumb behind him. Dan’s eyes sparkle and his mouth splits into a huge, open mouthed grin. “We can also go bike-riding, and go on leisurely date strolls and café lunches. And, sometimes, I can kick my flatmate and friends out and we can have a movie and baking date, too,” he smiles softly, listing off ideas. His eyes look distant for a second, as he grins.

Dan leaps forward, hands cupping Phil’s cheeks and lips pressing up against his boyfriend’s sweetly. Phil catches Dan’s upper lip between his own, and Dan happily lets Phil take over the passionate kiss. Their tongues glide over each other’s, exploring their mouths. Dan’s nose gently bumps into Phil’s which makes them both giggle. As Dan pulls back, he mumbles a thank you against Phil’s lips, before kissing him again. “Let’s begin, shall we?”

 

+

Phil slams the boot shut behind him, reaching down to grab the picnic basket he’d left on the ground. His hand flailed by his ankles as he failed to find it, and he hears a giggle from behind him. Dan stands to his side, holding the basket in his hands with a blush on his face. “Oi,” Phil chuckles, standing up straight and holding his hands on Dan’s waist. His fingers accidentally lift the sides of Dan’s shirt up, his nails brushing over his pale skin. Neither mention it, but they both love the feeling.

He takes the basket from Dan’s hands, “It’s only right,” he explains, as they walk side-by-side into the park. “I asked you on this date, so I’ll _take_ you on this date,” he smiles, poking his tongue out from between his teeth. As they walk along the path and talk about this and that, Phil swaps the basket into his left hand, reaching his other hand out to grasp Dan’s. As their fingers interlock, Phil feels his head swirl. Dan blushes, looking away.

They eventually seat themselves beside a rather large pond. Swans and ducks paddle through the water, families trail along the paths on the outside, and a group of kids kick a football to each other. Phil lays out a picnic blanket, pulling snacks out of the weaved basket. Dan sits beside him, legs crossed over each other. The sun is warm, but comfortable, and it’s the perfect setting.

The two find themselves in a comfortable silence, their conversations slow and meaningless. It was nice, Phil thinks, to hear Dan speak. Even when he wasn’t ranting passionately about things he enjoyed or disliked, his eloquence was enviable even in the simplest circumstances. Phil realises he’s staring at Dan – the sun lands on his face so perfectly, glimmering against his golden skin – but he doesn’t have the heart to tear his eyes away. His boyfriend seems content, and Phil reckons he hasn’t seen anyone look so peaceful in broad daylight.

“Is this what you usually do?” Dan asks, resting his head on Phil’s lap. His fingers are raised into the sky, tracing patterns in the clouds with his fingernails. “Whether you’re on a date, or just with friends?” His voice has a childlike wonder to it.

Phil goes on lunch dates with his friends all the time. They went picnicking on the odd occasion, usually to celebrate a promotion or a birthday. Phil hadn’t been to or taken any of his previous partners on a picnic date, he’d always wanted to, though. He knew that Dan would love it the most of anyone he’d ever met – maybe, he’d been waiting for the right person. “If a special occasion arises, my friends and I sometimes go to a park and have a picnic,” Phil explains.

Dan is silent, before he whispers, “Are your friends nice?”

Phil smiles. “Of course they are.” He wanted to say that he knew they’d love Dan (because they already did), but he doesn’t think Dan’s quite ready to meet more people and reveal his identity yet.

At one point, a black and white football rolls onto their picnic blanket. It bops Dan in the thigh, and the both of them sit up a bit straighter in surprise. Phil notices the group of small children from before looking around the grass nearby, searching for something. One of them points his small finger in the direction of Dan and Phil, and after what seemed the other children giving him courage, he scurries over to their seating spot.

Phil notices the warm grin on Dan’s face.

“Hello…” The little boy stutters out, cupping his hands a little bit. “Sorry we kicked our ball to you. Can I have it back, please?” He asks politely, avoiding all eye contact with the two men.

“Of course,” Dan answers, rolling the ball closer to the boy. “You guys are so good at football, you kick the ball really well,” he continues, chatting with the little boy. Phil finds a smile creeping onto his cheeks as Dan makes soft conversation with the child. Dan was so gorgeous. The sun shone on his features and a halo of angelic light seemed to glow around him in the afternoon sun, and his smile could heal millions as he spoke with the little boy, who animatedly talked about wanting to be a football star. His boyfriend looked so immensely and completely happy, he wished he could pause this moment and replay it forever. He also wishes he brought his camera.

“I think you’d make a great football player,” Dan says, leaning closer into Phil’s chest.

The little boy holds the football under his arm, looking at their blanket. He eyes a plate of biscuits, and bends down, poking his little finger at one. “Are these chocolate biscuits?” He asks, looking up at Dan through his long, dark eyelashes.

Dan giggles, “Yes,” he answers, handing one to the boy, “Take one. But, don’t tell your friends,” he warns, wagging a finger at the boy.

“I promise.” The boy answers, stepping back. “Thank you!” He calls, before running off back to his friends. They cheer triumphantly upon his return, and almost instantly, they’re back into game.

Dan beams at Phil, turning to face him. He bounces up and down on his knees excitedly for a moment, “Did you see that?” He asks, bringing a hand under Phil’s chin.

“You’re so cute,” is all Phil replies with. It’s all his brain can think of to reply with, too muddled by his boyfriend’s charm. He leans forward, pressing their lips together in a slow, romantic kiss. He can feel Dan grinning into the kiss, and the smile doesn’t seem to leave his lips for hours.

 

+

The next date Phil takes Dan on is only the next day. Phil tells him it’s nothing special, it’s just another chance to spend time together. They eat at a small, cramped café, but the atmosphere is charismatic and the food is tasty. As they’re sitting, a question Phil asks surprises Dan.

“Have you ridden through London?”

The question was bizarre and almost absurd, to Dan. Of course, he _lives_ in London, after all. Or, on the outskirts, but he’d constantly travelling in and out and all over the world. “Of course,” Dan answers, “I live here, after all,” he explains, stirring his spoon through his hot chocolate. A marshmallow sits on top of the froth, dissolving into weird, mushy chunks.

“No,” Phil presses, “ _Ridden_. Like, on a bike.” Phil has a weird look in his eye as he clarifies his question, and Dan can’t decipher whether it’s curiosity or excitement. Maybe it’s both.

“I haven’t, why?” Dan thinks that’d be rather scary. Whilst the London traffic was usually slow; at times it was incredibly hectic. Bikes, in comparison to cars and buses, were flimsy and dangerous. He understood the practicality of owning one, after all, he hears you can go short distances faster on them, in this city.

“Do you want too?” Phil must see the alarm in Dan’s eyes, and he chuckles lightly, throwing his hands up to correct himself. “We won’t go to the super busy parts, like fast traffic or anything. Unless you want to – but, I was thinking, strolling through the parks…” He blushes, hand rubbing the back of his neck, awkwardly.

“That sounds nice,” Dan answers him, smiling softly. He wondered if Phil had his own bike, or two. Dan wouldn’t mind either way, he thinks. Sitting on the back of a bicycle would be rather fun, he thinks – it seems so in movies. He himself doesn’t have a bike. What was the point? It’s not like he’d get to ride it anywhere. “Do you have your own bike?”

“Yeah! I only have one though, I hope you don’t mind…” Phil answers, looking down. A blush crawls across his cheeks, and Dan wonders why.

“Of course not!” Dan grins, letting a hand rest on Phil’s. He feels excitement bubble in his throat. “Can I sit on the back? Or stand?!” He asks. Dan isn’t sitting on his seat anymore, instead bouncing on his toes and leaning over to Phil’s side of the table.

Phil’s fingers tickle the underside of Dan’s chin, teasing him, “Excited, are we?” He jokes. He laughs when Dan nods, head rising and falling at a manic speed. “We’ll have to go pick up the bike at my house, but it’s only a short drive away, if the traffic isn’t too bad,” Phil explains, pressing a quick kiss to Dan’s hand.

Dan cocks his head to the side, “We’re going to your house?” He wants to go to Phil’s house, mainly to see how he’d decorated it. Dan imagined little figurines and plush toys from all his favourite shows decorating his bedroom. Phil had said his best friend was an artist and film-maker. Maybe there’d be art in the living room, or camera equipment from the both of them scattered around the apartment. Dan imagined there being no proper food in the house, and the cupboards filled with junk food and unhealthy snacks. He laughed inwardly.

Phil nodded, “If that’s okay with you…” To Dan’s disappointment, he followed with, “We won’t go inside. My flatmate, PJ’s girlfriend is over and I don’t know if it’s safe…” He chuckles at his innuendo. Dan knows he meant safe for himself and his secret identity, but he giggled, too. “My bike is in the garage,” Phil explains.

The apartment looked nice from the outside. The street was lined with beautiful, big trees dotted with yellow flowers. The outside looked similar to all the other buildings on the street, old and greying – four stories tall. Phil parked his car in the garage down the street, and led Dan over to the bicycle rack. “Let’s go,” Phil smiled, wheeling it up onto the pavement.

He climbed on, waiting for Dan to do the same. Dan didn’t really know what to do, so he leaped up and sat on the back, where he assumed a bike-bag was supposed to sit. Phil had already started pedalling, and Dan was surprised that Phil managed to take the weight of both of them. As they started to speed up, Dan wrapped his arms tight around Phil’s waist, resting his chin on Phil’s shoulder. The wind pushed through his hair, and he felt so free, like he was flying and floating away. He loved it.

Phil was warm, and in the moments where the bike slowed and they strolled through small parks and down little streets, Dan felt he could curl up and sleep right there.

Being with Phil, Dan thought in the silence that had accompanied their travels, was just like being with a best friend. Supportive and comforting, but willing to go on many an adventure with you. Dan could safely say that Phil was one of his best friends now, too. They knew most everything about each other already – which made Dan worry they were diving into their relationship too fast, but he figured it was a good sign, that they were really into each other.

He looked up, as Phil concentrated on the road ahead of him. Phil was his favourite person he’d ever met, and he didn’t understand what he’d done to deserve such a beautiful person in his life. Phil laughed at his quirks, and kissed him when he said something silly, and shared his interests. Phil tried to understand Dan and his situation, and he cared deeply for Dan. At the thought, Dan feels his stomach swirl in delight.

It felt like a different world, when Phil wasn’t around. A world Dan didn’t really appreciate all that much.

Phil slows to a stop, in another park that Dan hasn’t seen. Dan steps onto the patch of grass dotted with weeds disguised as flowers, as Phil drops the bike, and falls onto the grass with a huff. He looks exhausted, a trail of sweat glistening on his temple. Even then, he grins up at Dan, and laughs with him. Dan can feel his heart beating, pumping against his chest so fast, and an overwhelming thought overtakes his mind.

He loves Phil.

Maybe it was too soon to say, but he feels it. His heart beats for Phil, it seems. Phil is his inspiration, his new found friend and home. He wants nothing than to be with Phil forever. He only wishes Phil feels the same.

Dan’s about to confess, when Phil says, “Stop staring at me!” Dan blushes, quickly looking the other way, picking a weed out of the grass. Phil chuckles, poking Dan’s side. “You aren’t going to thank me for taking you on a beautiful bike ride?” He teases.

Dan turns back to him, pressing a deep kiss to his lips. His feelings for Phil are swirling in the forefront of his mind, but his nerves are swallowing the three little words up. “Thank you,” he mutters out instead, as they pull away. He rolls his eyes.

Phil laughs again, grabbing Dan by the waist and pulling him backwards. Surprised, Dan lets out a tiny shriek, before he falls onto Phil’s chest. He can feel Phil’s heartbeat leaping up and beating against his spine, and his body follows Phil’s exhausted breaths. Phil begins to talk about a new TV show he’d been watching, carding his fingers through Dan’s hair, and Dan settles down into Phil’s arms.

He’d tell him, later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!!!!!!! DAN'S IN LOVE WITH PHIL AND HE DOESNT KNOW IF PHIL FEELS THE SAME WAY AND WHAT DO YOUT HINk


	7. Three Big Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Confession after confession, and perhaps a little surprise. A perfect date, taking a turn for the worse...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **WARNING WARNING WARNING:** SMUT!  
>  This chapter includes: grinding. Nothing too extravagant in terms of smutty fanfiction, but if it makes you uncomfortable here is when you should stop and start reading again :) :  
>  _STOP_ : ...landing gently on his lap.  
>  _start again?_ : Phil giggled, kissing Dan's nose.

**Chapter Seven – Three Big Words**

The two had been sneaking around together for just over two months now. Somehow, Heidi still hadn’t caught onto the fact that Dan had a secret boyfriend, and Phil had come up with a long list of excuses as to why his friends couldn’t meet his boyfriend. Zoe had teased Dan on many an occasion that he was progressing in their relationship too fast, but Dan would shrug it off with a simple answer, “Maybe it’s fate, Zoe.”

He sure hoped it was.

Phil had invited Dan over for a night in his tiny apartment. ‘To be further introduced into the life of a _normal_ person,’ he’d explained, but they both knew it was for a night of movies, baking, and snuggles.

“What about your flatmate?” Dan asked over the phone. He was in his bedroom, scrolling through a website Phil had told him about. Dan had signed up, under a pen name, and he followed Phil and a few other people who liked some of the same things as him. It was a fairly interesting website, where he owned his own blog.

“I told PJ that you were still ‘too nervous’ to meet him and Chris and Louise – and he understood and said he’d stay at his girlfriend’s. I also _paid_ Chris and Louise to stay away,” he chuckled, his laugh crackling over the connection. “What do you say?”

Of course Dan would say yes. He’d been excited to see Phil’s home since they’d been bike riding together. That had felt like so long ago, now that he’d had a photoshoot, two interviews, and finally released a new music video (wasn’t he supposed to be on holidays? Then again, _a true idol never took a_ break, Heidi claims). Truthfully, it had only been about a week and a half. He still wanted to confess his feelings of love to Phil.

“I saw your new video, by the way,” Phil told him, and Dan could hear his song, _Red_ over the line. He hadn’t intended for it to become a single, but after Phil had spoken so much of it, on multiple occasions, he decided to film a video for it. It had multiple little ‘Easter Eggs’ that secretly pointed at their relationship; Dan, in the video, took photos of the many places he’d visit on a little holiday, including himself performing for his Special Edition Tour (which was remade for the video), of a bridge, a picnic blanket, and a bike. Dan had never written it for a particular person in mind, but he likes to believe that, just maybe, Phil had always been on his mind. It was about fate, after all. “You look absolutely stunning, and I believe there are some sneaky things about me in there,” he muttered, a lot quieter this time, but still Dan could hear the smile in his voice.

“I only made it a single because you liked it so much,” Dan said. “It’s a pretty sad song, if you look at the lyrics…”

“I don’t care! It’s all about fate, is it not? I believe in that stuff,” Phil answered, which made Dan’s face crack into a grin. “Anyway, come over soon. And, bring your _Deathnote_ boxset, please!”

The line went dead.

 

+

Phil had spent all morning tidying up around the apartment. Between the two of them, he and PJ didn’t make all that much mess. Sure, they had the odd strewn blanket or comic book or camera lens laying around, and underneath the couch was fairly dusty, but their house was never as catastrophic as other friends, or Chris’s. But, Phil made sure everything was in perfect order, dusting all the corners and tidying up the glass cup cupboard above the sink.

“I didn’t think our house was _that_ messy.” PJ said, as Phil brushed the duster over the candles in the centre of the dining table. “Do you really think he’ll mind? Is he allergic to dust, or something?”

Phil looked pointedly at PJ. “I just want it to be perfect, for him,” he smiled softly, and PJ mirrored it – Phil was too precious.

“OK, well -,” PJ began, grabbing his keys and duffel bag, and rising from his seat. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Have fun – be safe,” he warned, sparing Phil a teasing glance as he shut the door behind him.

At his final words, a thought pieced together in Phil’s brain. He hadn’t meant for any, shall he say, _suggestive_ activities during the night – he had truly meant for it to be a peaceful night in. Sure, he wasn’t complaining if such a thing did occur, he was prepared and all, and he wondered incredulously how the thought hadn’t popped into his mind beforehand.

Sure, he’d definitely _thought_ about it, especially late at night when Dan was busy entertaining the world otherwise. He’d seen pictures of Dan – his body was toned and perfect, it was as if he was perfect all over. But, he supposed the topic hadn’t really come into conversation, yet. He wondered, for a moment, if Dan had even made it that far in any relationship before.

About half an hour later, Phil hears a knock at the door, and runs to open the door. As he swings it open, he glances over Dan. Dan’s clad in a jumper, patterned with the United States flag in black and white. He’s wearing his black jeans with the random zippers, again, and Phil finds himself smiling at Dan’s weird fashion habits. His large glasses are resting on the crown of his head, and this time, his hair is straightened, but not pressed into a quiff. Instead, it’s hidden under a backwards facing snapback.

He has a back pack slung over his shoulders, a bright blue one, and another bag in his hands. “Hello,” Dan says, pulling the bigger bag into the bend of his arm.

Phil grins, “Come in, welcome to my tiny house,” he chimed, spreading his arms wide and allowing his boyfriend entrance.

Dan stepped inside, a look of awe on his face as he examined the room. His mouth was open in a grin, staring at all of the bits and pieces that decorated the house, including a mail slot filled with unopened bills and a rather large collection of scented candles in the centre of the dining table. “Your apartment is so nice,” Dan cooed. “I wish I had a homelier feel to my own,” he muttered, glancing at a few of the postcards PJ had collected and framed on the back wall.

Phil smiled, taking the back pack from Dan’s shoulders. “I’ll show you to my room. I, uh – I assumed you’d be fine sharing a bed with me, tonight – but if you’re not I’m happy to sleep on the couch! Whatever makes you more comfo-,”

Dan interrupted him, sticking his finger up to Phil’s lip. “Of course not! I’d love to share a bed with you,” he assured. He immediately blushed bright red, looking to his feet.

Phil giggled, feeling a flutter in his heart. He walked to one of the doors on the left side of the room, pushing it open to reveal his room. He was rather proud of his bedroom. It was littered with posters of his favourite shows and movies and bands, fitted with figurines and toys, and books stacked on his bookshelf. Fairy lights sparkled over his bed frame, and a few decorative pillows lay awaiting on his blue and green bed spread. Maybe it was a bit childish – but that’s who he was at heart.

“It’s just like I imagined it,” Dan blurted, as he walked in, “I love it, so much.” He asked to place his bags on Phil’s bed, before walking over and admiring all the collected merchandise on Phil’s shelves. He gasped, reaching out to touch a _Free!_ figurine of Makoto. “I have the matching figurine, of Haru!”  He pulled his fingers back before he dragged his fingers over the delicate design, admiring it from afar.

Phil chuckled, wrapping his arms around Dan’s waist. “Look at this one,” he directed, lifting one of his fingers to point towards an _Attack On Titan_ group figurine, which included each of the main characters in individual poses. It had cost him a fortune, and he was rather proud of it. Dan gasped, and Phil thought it was so cute he couldn’t help but press a kiss to Dan’s hair. It was nice to not be met with so much hairspray, he thinks.

Dan wriggled free from his arms, running to his bag and pulling out a black box. Phil recognised it immediately. “I brought _Deathnote_ , like you asked…” He said, holding it out for Phil. Dan’s mannerisms were so cute, Phil felt his heart pound in his chest. “Shall we watch it?”

“Of course,” Phil said, interlocking his fingers with Dan and dragging him back out into the lounge. He carefully takes the set of disks and takes it over to the TV. He slides the first one in, navigating his way through the menu. Before he presses play, he turns around, to see Dan sat awkwardly in the centre of the couch. “Lie down, with me,” Phil says, but it falls out of his mouth like an uncertain question.

Dan smiles cheekily, “I was hoping you’d say that.”

Phil falls onto the couch, remote still in hand. He pats the space in front of him, and Dan falls into the cushioning beside him, and Phil presses play. He immediately snuggles closer into Dan, letting his arm drape over Dan’s side. Dan lifts his hand, intertwining their fingers, and Phil feels his heart speed up. He couldn’t concentrate on the show in front of them, with his body pressed so close to Dan’s.

And the close proximity ignites thought tug at the front of Phil’s mind, that there was something so beautiful about Dan, but he couldn’t quite figure out exactly what was so captivating about him. Maybe it was the fact that Dan lead two lives, although, Phil hadn’t known that from the beginning. He’d felt this way since they’d met.

He loved the way Dan’s entire face soared upwards when he laughed, and he loved the way his dimples dug deep into his cheeks, and how his laugh was high pitched and shaky. Phil loved when Dan ran his fingers over Phil’s skin as if he was exploring the visible areas. He loved when Dan talked about things he loved, and went on seemingly endless rants about his favourite characters or the unpredictability of one’s own life.

Dan was, by far, the most interesting and complex person he’d ever met. He wanted to discover everything about the boy, uncover every secret and become an important part of his life.

Phil is in love with Dan.

Phil glances down at the gorgeous boy below him, who stares intently at the screen and follows along the storyline. Phil runs his fingers through Dan’s brown hair, staring into his brown eyes. Dan seems to notice his staring, and turns his head. “What are you looking at? Weirdo…” He comments, giving Phil a curious look.

Phil smiles softly, “You.”

Dan blushes, and Phil has to bite back the three little words that he’s ready to announce. Because, isn’t it all too soon? Weren’t you supposed to fall in love later down the line? What was he feeling, this deep warm feeling in his chest, that hurt when Dan wasn’t around, if it wasn’t love? He gulps, when Dan smirks.

“That’s okay, then,” he smiles, a pink colour still lingering on his cheeks.

“I’m hungry,” Phil says, mostly to distract himself from the nagging feeling in his heart. “Let’s go make something to eat,” Phil says, tucking a strand of Dan’s hair back behind his ear.

Dan pulls it back out, “We have to finish this episode first! Then – then we can go make something delicious,” he answers, sitting up a little and pecking Phil’s cheek. Phil quickly captures Dan’s chin between his fingers, not letting him stray, and kisses him softly on his pink lips.

 

+

Later, the two of the stand in the kitchen and try to decide what to make.

Dan surveys Phil’s cupboards and realises the shelves aren’t as bare or sugary as he imagined them to be. There’s a spice rack in the corner that’s practically overflowing, different dry pastas and sauces in the back, packets of flour and even a cookbook. His fridge is packed with different fruits and vegetables. “Do you cook?” Dan asks, surprised.

“Not at all, I’m the _worst_ ,” Phil chuckles, hoisting himself onto the bench. “PJ does, though. My shelf in the fridge is _that_ one,” he says, pointing to the corner of the fridge stacked high with different chocolate bars.

Dan chuckles, pulling them out. “You know…” He started, spreading them out on the counter and shutting the fridge behind him with his foot. “I make incredible chocolate brownies,” he declared, giving Phil a triumphant glance. He shuffled over, slotting himself between Phil’s legs.

Phil bends down so their eyes are level, “Is that so?”

 

+

The kitchen is a complete and utter mess, and Phil knows he’ll have to clean it up later. The brownie batter is already in the oven, but the two of them are still playing with the ingredients. An accidentally smashed egg had been mixed in with the flour as an experiment to see if it would make a paste, and had been smothered over the bench top. Crystals of sugar glittered over their clothes and over the floor, and they fed each other pieces of left over chocolate, sat side by side on the ground.

“You have _egg_ in your hair,” Dan laughs, reaching his fingers up into Phil’s fringe. Phil leans forward, as Dan’s hands press through his fringe and massage his scalp for a moment. “I’ll need a cloth,” Dan says after trying and failing to rid the mess, and reaches his hand up onto the bench. His hand shuffles around for a moment, struggling to find the cloth.

Suddenly, a large clatter is heard and Phil spots a bowl roll out of the kitchen. The bowl of flour had fallen directly onto Dan, and he is covered, head to toe, in flour. He looks like a ghost, Phil thinks, laughing at him. They fall into fits of giggles, “I can’t _believe_ I just knocked that onto my head!” Dan cries, taking a fistful of flour from his lap and launching it at Phil.

Phil gasps as he feels the flour embed into his hair and shirt, a white, powdery splatter in the centre of his chest.

Phil reaches over, mussing Dan’s hair, making more flower fall onto his body and into his lap. “No!” Dan cries, folding over and giggling so hard Phil thought he could pass out. Phil reaches his fingers down to Dan’s stomach, and begins to tickle him. Dan cries out again, squirming on the floor in fits of laughter. “I can’t breathe!” He laughed, pretending to push Phil away.

Phil slowed to a stop, when he realised he’d pushed Dan into a laying position beneath him. He felt his heart rush and it made him light headed, as he glanced down at Dan, who, even when covered head to toe in flour, still looked beautiful. “You have a bit of flour, here,” he whispered, pointing to Dan’s cheek as if his entire body wasn’t covered in it.

Dan giggled, pushing on his shoulders, “Stop it, you,” he said, but the tone of his voice was soft and gentle. He pushed his floury fingers through Phil’s hair, as they locked eyes.

The tension in the room hung above them, strangling Phil. He so desperately wanted to say those three little, very important, words, but he stopped himself. He didn’t want to scare Dan away, not when he thinks he’s found the person he is supposed to be with.

It comes as a surprise, when Dan breaks the silence. His voice trembles in a whisper, hardly making it to Phil’s ears. “I love you.” Phil notices Dan looks as if he wants to swallow the words back up, and seems sad all of a sudden. His eyes bore into Phil’s as if he’s searching for an emotion that won’t appear.

Phil grins, pressing their powdered noses together, “I love you, too,” Phil whispers.

Dan gasps, “But… I thought you’d reject me! I’ve said it so early,” he mutters under his breath.

“How could I? I do love you, you know?” Phil teased, bringing Dan into a long, passionate kiss. Dan’s tongue explores his mouth, and their teeth clatter together, and Phil can taste the chocolate he’d fed him. “You taste like chocolate,” he mumbles over Dan’s lips in the moments their lips are even slightly disconnected.

Dan pulls back, resting his head against the floor for a moment. Even under all the flour, Phil can see that Dan is glowing red. “Just… Gimme a minute,” Dan smiles, breathless, and Phil can hardly contain his joy.

He collapses onto Dan, and rolls them over so he’s on the floor. Dan sits on his chest and kisses him again. Phil looks into the golden brown eyes of Dan’s, and whispers, “How, on Earth, did I get this lucky?” He brushes his hand over Dan’s face, removing some of the flour.

“How did… You?” Dan mutters breathlessly, eyes blown wide. He looks up at the ceiling, “How did _I_ get so lucky?! You love _me_ …” He says softly, pressing his palms flat against Phil’s chest. Phil smiles in return, the most honest and gentle smile Dan thinks he’s ever seen. One of those smiles that can’t be recreated in a movie. Phil feels a warm glow in his chest as Dan seems so surprised, and he’s determined to prove to Dan in many ways that he loves him.

“Of course I do… You’re so beautiful, passionate and intelligent, and creative. Plus, you have a cute bum,” Phil answers, hands running down Phil’s back to give his behind a squeeze quickly for emphasis. Dan takes in a sharp breath of surprise, before giggling and wriggling away from his grasp. “So what, if it’s too early? Maybe it’s meant to be,” he whispers, looking at Dan’s lips.

Dan curls himself up and rests his head on Phil’s chest, and Phil wonders if Dan can feel his heartbeat race against his ear. “You’re sticky,” Phil tells him after a minute or two of silence, but he takes no action in moving, either way.

After a few minutes of soaking up the others warmth and affection, Dan rolls off him. “Can I have a shower, please?” He asks, hand still resting on Phil’s chest.

“Sure,” Phil smiles, standing up. He grabs Dan’s hand and lifts the boy to his feet, kissing his cheek. “I’ll clean up the kitchen. Take as long as you need,” he smiled softly. Dan thanked him with a small smile, and Phil got to cleaning up the kitchen.

He’d pulled the pan out of the oven and let it sit on the bench, wrapped under a tea towel, when Dan walked into the room. His skin was still glisteningly damp, and his hair was a mess of tight, wet curls on his head. He slung a towel around his shoulders, still trying to scrub his hair dry, and Phil noticed his attire was nothing but a tank top and a pair of pyjama shorts. He gulped.

“I used some of your shampoo and conditioner – I hope you don’t mind.”

“O-Of course not,” Phil smiled softly, taking a step closer to Dan. Dan beamed up at him from beneath the towel now resting on his head. Phil sighed. “I’m so glad I get to kiss you. Whenever. I. Want,” he said, between kisses pressed over Dan’s face. His skin was still warm and flushed, but Phil thinks it might not all have been from the shower.

 

+

They retire to Phil’s bed close to midnight. Dan’s tired enough he could fall asleep immediately, but he tries to stay awake as long as he can stay in Phil’s company a while longer. Phil slides under the covers and lifts them up, inviting Dan to slide underneath. Dan quickly slides himself beneath the sheets, pressing himself up to Phil’s side. Phil drops his arms over Dan’s waist and drags him even closer, nuzzling his head in Dan’s neck.

Dan feels the happiest he’s felt in a long time. This feeling of total privacy, being wrapped in your lover’s arms and wishing to stay there for evermore – it was the warmest emotion Dan had ever felt. Phil was treating him to a life unlike one he’d ever had, a life of normalcy and passion and devoid of fear and hate – it was perfect. Dan can’t believe his luck, and he truly does believe that maybe it was fate that they’d met.

Phil’s house was small and he lived in the bustle of London, and his Wi-Fi wasn’t incredibly fast and his TV didn’t connect to all the channels, but it was homely. Dan knew that when he returned to his house it wouldn’t feel the same. It wasn’t filled with the same love that Phil’s seemed to be (Phil would also be missing). Dan’s house was empty of anything except designer furniture and expensive products. Something about Phil’s home made everything feel right and happy.

“I liked being here,” Dan whispers through the dark. “It feels like home – safe and happy. Can I come over again, soon?”

“You can come over whenever you want, Dan,” Phil answers, pressing a kiss to the tip of his spine. “You’re always safe here…”

 

+

PJ is seen less often in the apartment now, as Phil continues to claim that Dan is too nervous to meet him and the other two.

“Why can’t you go over to his house?” Chris whines from the other side of the couch, swinging his _Wii_ remote around on his wrist.

“I think my girlfriend’s parents are getting sick of me, Phil,” PJ says gently, pretending to hit a golf ball. The little white ball on the screen flies over the green, and lands five metres from the flag. PJ does a mini fist pump of success, before sitting on the couch and continuing the conversation. “I know he’s nervous, but we’re not evil, or anything. Unless you made him scared of us…” He says accusingly.

“Look – there’s a hundred reasons why you guys can’t meet him just yet, and I don’t care nor do I have the right to go into any detail.” Phil says, helping Louise tie her wrist strap back on. “I would have already told you everything about him and introduced you from the beginning if I could, but I _can’t_.” He explained simply.

PJ bit on his lip, and Chris muttered, “Fishy,” under his breath. Phil gave him a spearing side-eyed glance, which made Chris instantly turn away.

Louise finally spoke up, “You told me two things – One, he’s fairly well off. And two, he likes make-up… I’m just interested to see what collection he has, and I want to exchange tips and tricks with him.” She smiles at Phil, who gives a grateful grin back.

“I’ll try and talk to him about it, okay?” He says to the group, although it is a lie, standing up for his turn. “Anyway – I’m going to smash you all at this game.”

“Bring it on.”

 

+

“Can I do a photoshoot with you?” Phil asks, as he picks Dan up out the front of another hotel. This one didn’t seem to be as tall, but was certainly wide and long, and had gardens worth millions decorating the paths. Phil had been meaning to do a photoshoot with Dan since they’d met, but hadn’t yet gotten around to it.

Dan drops his backpack onto the floor and clicks his seatbelt in. “What? Yes, please! Your photos are so nice,” he comments, pecking Phil on the cheek as he drove out of the hotel parking area.

“Good, ‘cause I brought my camera,” Phil replies. “I was thinking of going to a botanical garden – there’s this really beautiful one that Louise took me to. She asked me to do a ‘look-book’ photoshoot for her there, and the gardens are absolutely gorgeous. Perfect, for you.”

Dan blushed, scoffing and looking out the window.

Phil parks his car and retrieves his camera gear, taking Dan’s hand and leading him through the gate. Occasionally, Phil would stop them and take photos. As expected, Dan knew what to do. He knew exactly how to pose in his environment, how to co-operate and take orders, and he looked gorgeous in every single one of Phil’s photos. Although, in Phil’s opinion, he always looked gorgeous.

Dan posed with the different flowers and plants, pulling faces and laughing. Phil had the most fun taking photos of Dan, who was creative in every way during the shoot. He wondered if Dan’s photoshoots were usually this fun, as Dan seemed to be having the time of his life playing with the camera.

They take a seat on a patch of green grass amongst a few other visitors of the garden. Phil lays down, feeling the rare sun rays prickle on his skin. Dan flicks through the photos they’d taken, “Wow! I look so nice in this one – and this one – _and_ this one. Phil, how did you get so good at this?”

“Wasn’t me – you’re already gorgeous,” he says, poking Dan in the ribs.

“No, like I thought when we met – your photos are some of the best I’ve ever seen! They’re beautiful and they tell a story – you know what you’re doing, better than a lot of the photographers I’ve worked with.”

“Thank you,” Phil says, smiling.

On the stroll back to the car, Phil spots a stand of free flowers. He pulls out a single rose, the thorns cut off, and hands it to Dan, bowing slightly. “For the most beautiful man I have ever met,” he says, cheekily. Even though it was intended to be silly, a blush still makes its way onto his face.

Dan covers his grin with his hand, giggling a little. “Thank you,” he says softly, and Phil’s heart breaks and fixes itself back up at the sweet tone of Dan’s voice; it almost sounds as if it’s the first time Dan’s heard this. Dan brings the ruby red rose up to his nose and smells it, sighing contentedly. He snaps a quick photo of the flower, before they interlock their fingers and keep walking.

 

+

**[@danhowell posted a new photo]**

A red rose is held in Dan’s hand, the background of the clear sky.

**[@danhowell: Track Eight.]**

 

+

“My friends decided to go out together today when they knew we were going on a date,” Phil explained. “They won’t be home until eight o’clock. Wanna come over?”

Dan checks his phone; it was currently just after one in the afternoon. He was grateful that he’d gotten these three months mostly free of work. One month had already passed, but he and Phil had bonded so much, it was as if they’d known each other forever. He hadn’t been to Phil’s house in a while, and he couldn’t wait to go back. “Yes, please!” He grinned, and Phil turned on his blinker.

As Phil opened the door to his apartment, he asked, “What should we do?” Before Dan got a chance to answer, Phil kissed him softly on his lips, taking advantage of their privacy.

Dan realises he didn’t get to kiss Phil enough – he had to make up for lost time. “Make out,” he answered, clutching onto both sides of Phil’s open jacket and pressing their lips together.

“Oh,” Phil responded, surprised. “That sounds like a _fantastic_ idea,” he giggled, guiding them blindly over to the couch. Phil fell backwards onto the couch, and Dan came down with him, landing gently on his lap.

Dan pressed their lips together hungrily, arms wrapped around Phil’s neck. Phil let his hands drop to Dan’s waist, and Dan could feel his fingers occasionally squeezing his sides as they kissed. Their tongues collided as they continued to explore each other’s mouths. Phil’s fingers carefully glided up under Dan’s t-shirt, hands running over Dan’s back and toned stomach and chest.

Dan let his mind wander, as to where else Phil’s fingers could go. He’d thought about things like that, but he’d never slept with anyone before – he didn’t know what it’d be like and the thought of the unknown scared him. He felt ashamed and rather lame about that fact, but in fairness, he’d never been granted the chance. Dan wanted to ‘go the distance’, especially with Phil who he trusted, and he prayed Phil felt the same. He hadn’t realised he’d gotten mildly aroused as he imagined the way Phil could move.

Phil smirked, pulling their lips apart. Phil’s lips were red and swollen, and Dan dragged his fingers over them, mesmerised. “Excited, are we?” Phil teased, running his hand closer to Dan’s crotch.

Dan blushed, leaping back, “Sorry – I got carried away,” he whispered, willing for the tent in his jeans to disappear. His face red hot, he sat on the couch cushion beside Phil and turned away. He felt like a child.

“It’s okay,” Phil said softly, placing a hand on his shoulder. “I’ll assume you haven’t done anything with anyone before,” he said, his words suddenly a lot shyer.  Dan turned back, playing with his fingers, and he shook his head. “We can take this as slow as you want,” Phil whispered, pecking Dan’s temple.

“I’m not ready for… Everything… Yet,” Dan explained, shuffling back into Phil’s lap. Phil wrapped his arms around him, reassuring him that it was all okay, and that they’d get around to it, when Dan was ready. Dan thanked whichever deity was listening for giving him such a kind and understanding boyfriend. He leaned forward a little, “But… Maybe we could try… Something?” He asked nervously, bringing his hands to rest on Phil’s shoulders.

“Something? Such as?” Phil asked, quirking an eyebrow. Dan blushed, not knowing what to say. Then, suddenly, his face went a deeper shade of red and his breath caught in his throat as Phil brought his hands down to Dan’s ass, pulling him closer and dragging their crotches together. Dan sucked in a sharp breath, before sighing in satisfaction, a wave of pleasure having just rolled over him.

“Do that again,” Dan whispered, dropping his head into the crook of Phil’s neck, “Please.”

Phil obeyed, thrusting his hips upwards and connected their clothed erections. Dan asked for the friction, again and again, until he didn’t need to ask anymore. Phil kept thrusting up, creating heat between their bodies. To Phil, it was nothing extravagant, but Dan seemed to be having the time of his life. His breathing was quick and shallow, head thrown back. He was pushing his hips forward, a string of moans and broken cuss’s streaming from his mouth.

Phil brought his fingers down to Dan’s belt loops, tugging down on them, but Dan pushed his hands away. “Not yet,” he breathed, pushing his fringe to the side. “I’m not ready yet, sorry,” he apologised, looking away from Phil. His cheeks had been pink, but now they were red, feeling embarrassment settle.

“That’s okay, Dan, this is enough,” he smiled, before thrusting upwards again. He massaged Dan’s bum, one hand on his ass and the other in his hair. With that, Dan set off again.

The friction was becoming too much for Dan, shivers running up his spine. He felt a tightening in his abdomen, suddenly breaking out in a thin sheen of sweat. “Phil… Phil, I’m go-,” he couldn’t finish his sentence, too wrapped up in the pleasure Phil was providing him to continue.

“Go, Dan,” Phil instructed, gently bringing his hand down to cup Dan’s erection. Dan went to argue that he’s still in his jeans, but the feeling of Phil digging the heel of his palm into his arousal made him almost scream with pleasure.

He came, a warm wetness seeping into his pants. He threw his head back, eyes squeezed shut and dirty, guttural moans falling out of his mouth. Phil gasped at the sight in front of him, and rubbed Dan’s sensitive crotch against his one last time, coming too. Dan leaned down, kissing him long and hard. “God, I love you,” Dan muttered. “Thank you.”

He knew it wasn’t much to Phil – maybe just a quick jerk off. But, it felt special to Dan. He’d never had an orgasm with another person – it made him feel special. Was he to say that it felt better when someone else was touching you? He didn’t know, he wouldn’t a have a clue on sexual social etiquette.

Phil giggled, kissing Dan’s nose.

As they settled down, Phil offered Dan a pair of sweatpants and underwear so they could curl up and watch a movie together. Dan quickly got cleaned up and changed, although the sweats stretched over his heels. Phil sat waiting for him on the couch, with blankets and snacks and a stack of movies. He wrapped his arms and the blankets around Dan, and the two snuggled up for a quiet night.

 

+

At around half past seven, Phil noticed Dan had fallen asleep on his lap. He gently shook Dan awake, kissing his cheek. “Come on, Dan, wake up. It’s 7:30, I gotta take you back to the hotel. My friends will be here, soon,” he whispered, and Dan stirred.

“I don’t want to go,” Dan complained, wiping his face with his hand and curling up closer to Phil’s stomach. “I love it here,” he said, lifting out his hand for Phil to hold. Phil couldn’t tell if Dan meant he loved it Phil’s house or in Phil’s arms – he wished it were both.

“I know, but it’s time to go home,” he chuckled, lifting Dan up.

Dan sat up beside him, his hair a curly, matted mess. “Just a few minutes more, and then I’ll get ready to go,” Dan said, but his voice rose at the ends as if he was asking for permission.

Phil couldn’t deny that he wanted to spend more time with Dan. Stupidly, he agreed, and let Dan curl back into his side so they could finish the movie together.

 

+

“Now, be quiet when you come inside,” PJ warned, pulling his keys out. “Phil might be asleep,” he ordered Chris and Louise, who stood behind him. They hadn’t had dinner yet, and were starving after their long day out.

“It’s eight o’clock,” Chris said dejectedly, “ _As if_ he’d be asleep.”

“He’s been out all day,” Louise argued, siding with PJ. “He could very well be exhausted.”

“Exactly; thank you, Louise.” PJ said, sliding the key into the lock and twisting it open. He pushed down the handle, and swung open the door.

They could see Phil on the couch, snuggled up to another man, whose hair was wildly curly.

The three of them gasped, and Phil whipped his head around, a horrified look on his face. Three pairs of eyes drifted over to the curly head of hair, belonging to a face that looked awfully familiar. They all gasped again, and PJ slammed the door shut, locking the three of them in the hallway.


	8. Caught in The Act

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Phil's friends discovering Dan Howell in their living room, the couple work hard to cover their tracks, and secure Dan's safety...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone. It's been a long time coming, this chapter.  
> I hope you understand that I haven't been posting because of my poor mental health. Please look at my [tumblr](fivepixelphan.tumblr.com) for more reasons and regular updates as to how I'm feeling.  
> I'm very sorry. I hope to be more active.

A heavy, depressing silence hung in the air. Dan stared straight ahead, at the television that continued to play a scary film. A creepy figure on the screen slammed a door shut, hovering over to a sleeping child. Dan was undeterred. Phil watched the door carefully, unsure of what to do.

Tentatively, he turned around, dropping a hand on Dan’s shoulder. This was enough to break Dan out of his spell, “Shit… They saw me, didn’t they?” he muttered under his breath, dropping his head in his hands.

Phil slid closer to him, wrapping his arms around Dan’s smaller frame. He tried to clutch him closer, but the other boy stiffened. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered into the air.

Dan shook his head, his hands following his hung head. “No, it’s my fault. I asked to stay!” He cried. As he pulled his hands away from his face to wipe his cheeks, Phil noticed the unmistakable sheen of tears. Dan lifted his head, finally searching for Phil’s comfort, folding himself into Phil’s arms.

He was so terrified. What if they were sharing his location already? What if they were telling the world he had a boyfriend, outing him? What if he or his career was in danger, now? What if Phil was in danger?

Phil rubbed his back, slowly. “What do you want to do?” he asked softly, bringing his fingers into Dan’s hair, slowly massaging his scalp.

“I don’t know…” Dan muttered uselessly, leaning back a little. “Can you… Talk to them? Explain everything. Make sure they’re not sharing anything… I-I don’t think they’d do that, but It’s the only thing we can do now, right?”

Phil nodded slowly, leaning forward to kiss Dan’s forehead. “I’ll take care of you,” Phil whispers, lifting Dan up from the couch. “Go hide in my room, I’ll go talk to them,” he declares, opening his bedroom door.

“Thank you,” Dan says, holding Phil’s hand. He goes to turn away, but Dan’s grasp pulls him back. “I... Am I able to meet them?”

Phil smiles softly. “If you want too.” He kisses Dan’s hand before dropping it, “I love you,” he promises, closing the door behind him.

 

+

Taking a deep intake of breath, Phil prepares himself by the door. He didn’t quite know how to go about this – the only thought on his mind was not ruining Dan’s life. He’d already felt like an inconvenience, but this took the cake.

Phil carefully opens to door to the flat, greeted with his three best friends in varying emotions. Chris, expectedly, looked ecstatic, as he bounced around the hall muttering Dan Howell’s name. PJ tried to calm him down and alert him of the situation they were in, one so compromising. As always, he understood things from someone else’s perspective and was able to sympathise. For this, Phil was thankful. Louise stood against the wall and seemed to debate whether she should be as excited as Chris, or as thoughtful as PJ, Dan Howell’s name on the tip of her tongue.

As they notice him, three heads prick up in alert. Chris skips over to the door, and Phil glares at him, effectively slowing him. “I guess I have some explaining to do,” he sighed, guiding them through the door and to the dining table.

All was painfully silent until everyone took their seats, when the questions started being fired at Phil.

_Was that who I thought it was?_

_When did you meet?_

_How long as this been going on for, Phil?_

_I knew it!_

_You did not!_

_How did this even happen?_

_Was this what really happened after the concert?_

_Do you love him?_

As the tumble of words began to terrify Phil, he slammed his fist against the table, silencing them all.

PJ, looking rather bashful, speaks up in the silence, “Can you explain what we just saw? Did we really just see Dan Howell in our living room?”

Phil nodded and began retelling the story of how he and Dan had met. “A few months ago I went out to a village in the Cotswolds to take some photos, and this is where I met Dan. At the time, I didn’t know he was _Dan Howell_ , but-,”

“How did you not realise you had just met Dan _fucking_ Howell?” Chris interrupts, a look of utter shock and betrayal on his face.

Phil glares at him again, and Chris draws himself further into his seat. Phil continued. “We got to talking, after he asked me about my photography. We had a lot in common, and I ended up driving him back to a hotel in London. I asked if we could meet up again, because I really liked him. Remember? We kept meeting up and somehow I didn’t realise I was falling in love with an international superstar.

“When the concert rolled around I still didn’t know a lot about him personally, as he was private and distant, for good reason. Because Louise had won the tickets for the front row seating Dan noticed me and I realised that the guy I’d been crushing on was performing for eighty-thousand people. Via his manager he asked me back stage, where we got together. We agreed to keep our relationship strictly a secret between us, for his safety – as I’m sure you know he’s not out yet.

“That’s why I kept making excuses to avoid you all meeting him and refused to divulge information about him – I just wanted to keep him safe.”

The other three sat motionless, jaws dropped. Stunned silence filled the air until Louise carefully asked, “Are we the only ones to know?”

Phil shook his head, smiling. He knows they’ll love to hear this, “No, Zoella knows,” he grinned widely, when Chris and Louise gasped violently. Even PJ looked surprised.

“Zoella knows?!” Chris screeched, clutching his chest.

Phil nodded, this time, “I haven’t met her yet, but Dan speaks very nicely of her.” Upon hearing this, Louise and Chris looked as if they may faint.

“Now, you have to understand,” Phil says, a lot more serious and stern. The others noticed the shift in atmosphere and sat up straighter. “You can’t tell anyone about this – about Dan and I’s relationship and about him being here – to keep his career and identity protected.” He receives a collection of nods. “I think he wants to meet you, but I need you to promise not to treat him like a celebrity because, right now, that’s not who he is. Right now, he’s Dan, _my boyfriend_.”

Chris shook a little and Louise grinned widely, both of them trying to contain their excitement.

As Phil stands up to leave, Louise stops him, and asks a question on all of their minds, “Phil, do you love him?”

Phil is silent, then he smiles, nods, and answers, “So much.”

 

+

“Phil, do you love him?” Dan hears a woman say. Her voice is soft, and careful. He thinks it must be Louise, as she’s the only girl Phil had ever really talked about. Dan had looked at her fashion and beauty blog, which was designed with plenty of pastel pinks and glittery emojis.

Dan feels angst drip deeper into his heart, awaiting Phil’s answer. What if Phil had been lying to him, and dating him just because he was a celebrity? It hadn’t seemed like it, but it was easy to have anxieties when even his family had become superficial in his presence.

There’s a silence, followed by, “So much.” Phil’s words are like a symphony in Dan’s ears.

He falls against Phil’s wall, drooping to the floor with his hands clutched to his chest. He giggles, wiping away tears the haven’t fallen yet. Happy tears, tears of relief. He wishes he hadn’t doubted Phil – but Dan decides it’s better to be safe than sorry.

Dan makes his way over to Phil’s bed, sitting down on the edge, contemplating what it may be like to meet Phil’s friends. Phil had told him many stories and they all seemed so lovely. Dan wants to get to know them, and hopefully they’ll want to be his friend, too. He can assume they already know who he is, if they attended the concert with Phil.

After a minute or two, Dan hears the door softly open and close, and Phil stands by the entrance. Dan leaps up, running over and leaping into his boyfriend’s arms. “Is everything okay?” He asks, clutching onto Phil’s waist as Phil brings them both to sit on the floor.

Phil nods softly, brushing the curls from Dan’s eyes. Dan breathes a sigh of relief, _everything was going to be okay_. He wasn’t in any danger, his career was safe, and so was Phil. Phil kisses Dan’s cheeks, whispering, “Are _you_ okay, though? That’s more important.”

“I’m okay,” he smiled softly, tucking himself further into Phil’s lap. He guessed he was; Phil had practically saved him.

“They promised to keep everything between us, and they understand the situation we’re in and the danger of releasing information…” Phil presses a soft kiss to Dan’s head. “I’m sorry it had to go this way,” he apologised softly, nuzzling Dan’s head into his chest.

“It’s okay – Phil. It really is.” Dan assures, shaking his head. He leans back into Phil’s arms, so they’re face-to-face. “Do you think I could meet them?” He asks, perking up.

Phil chuckles softly, “Are you sure?” They’re kind of big fans,” he replies, voice careful as if he’s testing the waters.

Dan nodded excitedly. “I always wanted to meet them! You made them sound so nice, I want to be friends with them, too!” He replies, playing with his fingers as he admits the final part. It was silly, but he hadn’t had any non-celebrity friends since he’d become famous. And all his celebrity friends, bar Zoe, had used him to multiply their followings. Deep in his heart, a quaking worry whispered, ‘ _They’ll treat you the same_ ’. He stamped this fiery fear down.

“As long as you want too,” Phil checks, again, but Dan is already lifting him up from the floor.

Dan smiles up at him before the door opens, and he quickly pecks Dan’s lips. “I love you,” he whispers, squeezing Dan’s hand.

“I love you, too, Mister,” Dan giggles. He nods towards the door handle, a bit too nervous to open it himself. Phil chuckles, pressing down on the handle, and the door opens to reveal a very still and silent living room.

“He wanted to meet you,” Phil says to the room, and they break hands.

Dan pops his head around the corner of the door frame, greeted with three, bright smiling faces. He gives a small wave, and begins to identify the people in the room. A man with hair as curly as his gave a polite wave, smiling gently; he knows this is PJ. A woman with long blonde hair, who Dan instantly registered as Louise, grinned widely. She had make-up on that Dan could only envy – it could be considered a work of art. Chris sat at the end of the table, and he waved wildly, and looked as if he might explode. PJ shot him a piercing look, and he calmed down – if only a little.

Dan smiled, “Hello, everyone.”

 

+

“Dan, as you know…” Phil pointed to each individual in the room, “This is PJ, Louise, and Chris.”

Phil begins to lead Dan over to the table, but the lack of chairs surrounding the table alerts him. There were only four dining chairs – he and PJ had never needed more than four chairs in their apartment. They rarely ever held parties, and they’d never spent Christmas together. Usually, it was just the four of them. But, with the addition of Dan, he was left without a seat.

“Uh – we don’t have enough chairs…” Phil muttered, whispering in Dan’s ear, face hot with humiliation.

Dan gave him a nervous look before waving him off, “It’s okay. I guess I can just sit on your lap?” He whispered back. Phil cautiously nodded, finding the situation rather embarrassing.

Phil sat down, and as Dan perched himself of Phil’s legs, the others all glanced at each other with wide eyes.

“I’ve heard so much about you all,” Dan tells them – it’s the truth. He earns three bright grins from around the table. “Phil speaks very nicely of you three,” Dan beams, a hand falling over Phil’s upturned palm. Their fingers slide in between each other, lacing together.

There’s a long silence that follows immediately after and Phil can’t decide if it’s more comfortable than awkward or not. “This sure was a surprise,” PJ says, rather calmly, making everyone else giggle a little bit.

“I’m sorry – I didn’t mean to cause such a fuss,” Dan says softly, offering a smile. “I’m really, so grateful that you’re all keeping this between us. It means a lot to me; it’s keeping me _and_ my career alive,” Dan chuckles, but tenses in Phil’s touch.

“H-How have you not gotten caught by paparazzi or crazy fans, yet?” Chris asks, incredulous. He’s shaking slightly in Dan’s presence. Dan supresses a smile.

“I actually _don’t know_. I can’t quite believe it myself – my disguise only alters my style, really,” he shrugs. “I like to think it’s fate, but maybe that’s silly,” Dan smiles and shuffles around on Phil’s lap, facing sideway. He kisses Phil’s forehead, and Phil hears the word _fate_ trying itself on for size in his head. He smiles, nuzzling his face under Dan’s arm – he likes the sound of it.

Phil hears Dan continue conversation, “Your make-up is absolutely gorgeous, by the way, Louise. Would you mind giving me some tips, later?”

Phil raises his head to find Louise shaking a little, a giant grin splitting the lower half of her face. She nods quickly, “Thank you so much, I’d love too!” She fiddles with her glittering pink nails for a moment. “I’ve always wanted to know how you did _your_ make-up,” she mutters under her breath. Her cheeks go a darker shade of pink than her blush, but she sends Dan a smile anyway. Chris nudges Lou, flashing her a very excited and encouraging glance.

“I didn’t bring my make-up bag – but next time we see each other, let’s go through it!” Dan grinned, and Louise nodded fervently.

A sudden yelp comes from the other side of the table, “Can I get your autograph?!” It’s Chris, his somewhat calm demeanour cracking.

“Chris!” Phil and PJ groan at the same time. They didn’t expect such an outburst from Louise, but they both knew she was secretly wishing for the same thing. Her eyes are wide, and she avoids meeting Phil’s eye. It came as a surprise, when Dan laughed.

“Sure!” He chuckled, hiding his grin behind his hand. His cheeks curled up under his eyes, cheeks red. “But, after that, we’re just friends, okay?” Phil smiled softly to himself – he knew Dan loved interacting with people outside of his celebrity status, and he could see now that he was working hard to create that bond with Phil’s own friends.

A conversation that twisted and turned down many different paths began, with the three of Phil’s best friends asking Dan many questions – like, how to avoid the paparazzi, to his favourite TV shows and breed of dog (which was Shiba Inu. Phil already knew this. Secretly, ever since Dan had passionately talked about how cute they were, the fluffy and feisty breed had become his favourite, too).

After a long while, PJ suddenly slammed his hands down on the table, effectively scaring everyone in the room into stunned silence. All heads flicked in his direction, wordlessly wondering why his abrupt outburst was necessary. He shrunk into his seat, “I forgot to make dinner,” and with those five words, everyone was suddenly aware of their empty stomachs.

“Oh my God, I forgot about how starving I was… Please make dinner, Peej,’ Chris whined, clutching his stomach.

PJ scurried over to look through the cupboard, but he sighed, chewing on his bottom lip, “There’s not much here – I can make spaghetti if you’d like... Or stir-fry?” He looked out to the group for confirmation, and received four appreciate nods. “Coming A-SAP,’ he muttered, shuffling through kitchen utensils.

Phil’s leg was going numb, an uncomfortable prickling feeling beneath his skin from Dan’s weight. He lifted Dan up under his thighs and swapped him over to his other leg. From across the table, Chris and Louise muttered to each other in quite conversation excitedly, eyes wide. They were still in shock.

Dan turned to Phil, twisting his hips around. “Do you mind if I stay the night?” He asked, batting his eyelashes – as if Phil _didn’t_ want him to stay. “I don’t really feel like going back to the hotel, I’m kinda sick of them,” he says, his eyelids drooping a little.

After the long day they’d had together, Phil was tired, too. Phil nodded, before tucking Dan’s head into his chest, muttering something about resting. Dan nuzzled his head into Phil’s jumper, cheek squished upwards. Phil brushed a strand of his curling hair off his forehead, tucking it behind his ear, “You’re beautiful, you know?” Phil muttered, kissing the muss atop his boyfriend’s head.

“Oh, shush, you,” Dan giggled, patting Phil’s shoulder. Phil felt Dan’s cheek curl up against his chest as he smiled. Dan propped his head up for a moment after this, wiping his eyes. His grin became a little lazier, as his eyelids drooped some more. Phil pecked Dan’s lazy smile, before pushing his head back down into his chest.

Eventually, Phil felt the rising and falling of Dan’s chest grow heavier, and knew the boy would be close to sleep soon. He must be exhausted, Phil thinks, but dinner is almost ready and he knows Dan is hungry. He pats Dan awake, stirring him back into consciousness (he realises, then, that maybe he shouldn’t have let Dan dance over the edge of sleep for so long). “Don’t go to sleep, you’ll wake up _starving_.” Dan lifts his head, his cheeks puffier than usual. Dan nods and turns himself around, resting against Phil’s chest. “We can go to bed once we’ve finished,” he explained, kissing Dan’s temple.

PJ and Louise set out the plates of meals and Chris fetches forks for everyone. Dan thanked everyone in a quiet, sleepy voice that Phil craved to hear more of. As he dug his fork in and gulped down a mouthful, he groaned at the incredible taste. Everyone else replied with the same overwhelmed and incredibly thankful sound. “This is delicious,” Dan comments, leaning closer to the dish.

“It may or may not be my specialty,” PJ laughed, eating his own meal just as fast as everyone else around him.

 

+

A comfortable conversation settled over the group during dinner, and Dan couldn’t feel happier if he tried. Never, in the last few years of his life since his career took off and his profile skyrocketed, had anything ever felt so relaxed. No dinner, lunch, or staged date had ever been this real. It was only ever for his brand’s benefit, or someone else’s.

Dan understood that Phil’s friends knew who he was – and Chris and Louise both seemed to be rather large fans of his. He’d figured out early on that Louise had been the winner of the four front row seats to his concert. Though, even then, the group of three were a lot kinder than many other fans or people interested in him. They’d welcomed him as another friend, and although the excitement still hadn’t settled, they tried to ignore the fact that a world-famous singer was in their dining room, perched on their friend’s lap.

That was more than anyone had ever done.

He knew it would take time before they got used to having an A-List celebrity spending time with them, but at the rate things were going, Dan believes it will be soon. Phil’s here, too, to hold everything in place; to keep everything steady. Dan’s so grateful.

Dan doesn’t notice how quickly the time seems to fly by the five of them, and he can feel himself growing more tired in Phil’s embrace. Louise gathers her handbag, and Chris throws his phone inside of it. PJ tucks their dining chairs in and guides them to the door with Phil and Dan.

“It was lovely meeting you,” Dan says to both Chris and Louise. He opens his arms for a hug, pulling each of them into his grasp one at a time. He can feel Chris jittering under his arms, and Dan tries to subdue his giggles.

“Take care of Louise on the way home,” Phil calls out after Chris, as they exit the room.

Dan waves one last time as the door swings shut and automatically locks. It isn’t even three seconds before he, Phil, and PJ hear two very excited squeals echo through the door. Dan blushes, hiding his face in Phil’s chest. “Sorry about them,” Phil chuckles, rubbing his back.

“It’s fine! I just didn’t expect that,” he laughs, pointing his thumb over his back at the door, where excited babbling gets quieter and distant. “You would have done the same,” Dan teases, poking Phil in the ribs when his cheeks burn red.

Dan turns to PJ, “It was so lovely meeting you, tonight,” he smiles. “You guys are all really nice.”

“T-Thank you,” PJ laughs, rather awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck. “It was nice meeting the man who makes my best friend so happy!” He laughs, poking his tongue out at Phil (who grumpily returns the gesture, red-faced).

Dan blushed, sending Phil a cheeky side glance from the corner of his eye. “And, thank you for letting me stay the night – it’s a big help.” Phil grabs his hand, giving it a quick squeeze before sliding his thumb over Dan’s knuckles. Dan swears he can feel his own chest swelling, filled to the brim with love and happiness. He wants to stay awake to hold onto this feeling for a bit longer, but he can feel his eyelids becoming heavy, and he craves sleep. He takes a mental note to remember this feeling so he can turn it into a song.

“We’ll see you in the morning, Peej,” Phil says, granting him a goodnight before leading a sleepy Dan to his bedroom. He lays Dan down on the bed, pulling the blankets over his chest before sliding in beside him.

The moonlight shines in onto the sheets, casting an ethereal pale glow over the room. Dan’s breaths grow heavier and fan against the fabric of Phil’s t-shirt. Phil’s fingers find their way into Dan’s soft hair, brushing it back. The feeling on Dan’s scalp is so nice, he almost doesn’t realise his small, appreciative whine. Phil giggles, before asking, “Did you have a good day?”

Dan smiles, wrapping his arm over Phil’s abdomen. “An _amazing_ one,” Dan comments, feeling the fading memories of the day curve around his mind before dissolving, white and fuzzy as they turn into dreams. Phil pecks his forehead, muttering something about being glad, and Dan hears a distant _‘I love you’_ before he’s out like a light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you're enjoying it! The next chapter is... Shall I spill...? Stressful...


	9. Brand New Knowledge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A mistake on Dan's behalf causes a lot of trouble and tears for the both of them - and a heck of a lot of Worried Heidi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it takes me such a long time to update. I'm very grateful that you all stick around to listen to me say these things, yet continue to do them. I'm also very grateful to all of you who get excited when each new chapter arrives, and takes the time to comment on it. It makes me happier than you could imagine!

Dan slowly wakes up.

First, he feels his hair being played with, kisses pressed to his cheeks and forehead, making his skin tingle. He hears a whisper of his name, breath brushing against his chest. His eyes sluggishly open, greeted with Phil’s ever-shining blue ones. Dan spots the flickers and threads of gold and green around his iris, his heart pounding against his ribs. Dan remembers the night before, and how Phil had saved him and his career. He smiled softly, unable to comprehend how lucky he was.

“Good morning,” Phil whispered, nuzzling closer as Dan reached his arms out for his boyfriend.

“G’Morn…” Dan mumbled, sleep lacing in his words. Phil’s eyes shifted from Dan’s, watching their fingers interlock and play together.

“How did you sleep?” Phil asks, as his fore-finger taps on Dan’s knuckle in a beat Dan swears he knows from somewhere. He blushes, realising the beat follows the chorus of _Red_.

“Perfectly,” Dan grins, lifting his leg so it tangles with Phil’s. Phil grins, bringing their connected hands to Dan’s face, brushing his hair back and tucking it behind his ears. Dan’s own hand gently bumps into his face, making him giggle.

“Good,” Phil whispers, eyes gazing over Dan’s entire face. His eyes flicker back and forth along Dan’s lips for a moment before he catches Dan staring directly into the oceanic blue of his own eyes. “You’re so cute,” his boyfriend remarks, leaning his head up to press their lips together in a long kiss.

Their morning breaths mingle and Dan thinks it’s a bit gross, but he doesn’t care too much. Phil’s lips are slightly chapped, but still soft and plump. Dan opens his eyes for a split second, glancing over Phil’s features. He’d never kissed anyone with his eyes open, so he could never gauge their reaction to kissing him. Though from Dan’s position Phil’s face blends into itself and crosses over, blurrily doubling up on itself, he can still spot Phil’s fluttering eyelashes and pink dusted cheeks.

He looks almost as content as when he sleeps, only a little bit happier. Dan feels quite honoured, and surprised, to have made someone feel so at peace. He engraves this scene into his head, adding onto his to-do list to write a song about this moment.

As they pull apart, the raven-haired mutters a gentle ‘I love you,’ and Dan wonders if he’s ever been this happy. “I love you, too,” Dan whispers against Phil’s lips, connecting them once more, briefly, before burrowing his head into Phil’s chest.

“Hey,” Phil grabs his attention after a few minutes of snuggling. If Dan perked his ears a bit, he could hear the sound of the kettle boiling ringing softly through the door. PJ must be up, already. This reminds Dan of the night before, and it must have of Phil’s memory, too, as he says, “I’m sorry about last night. I never meant for that to happen. You wouldn’t be in this position if it weren’t for me…”

Dan shakes his head, mussing up his hair into the mattress sheets. “No, no – Phil,” he replies, and it sounds high-pitched and desperate. He never wanted Phil to feel like he was an inconvenience to Dan; he was anything but. “Please, never blame yourself. What happened last night was an accident, and more my own fault if we’re to place responsibility. Everything could have been so much worse – but it wasn’t, because you fixed everything for me.

“I could be in so much trouble right now, maybe even dead in the eyes of Heidi, but you spoke to your friends and you made sure I was fine and happy and _okay_. Phil, I couldn’t have asked for a better life-saver-slash-boyfriend. I love you so, so much.” Dan kisses different points on Phil’s face with his final sentence. Phil grins back, thanking him, but Dan wonders fleetingly if there's a flicker of uncertainty in his eyes. Worried, Dan continues, “I’ve never admired and adored someone so much in my life – you truly mean so much to me, Phil.” It’s the truth, and being with Phil meant telling the truth hurt a lot less than usual. Dan liked this change.

“Dan,” Phil whispers back, a faint, terribly sad, smile decorating his lips. “How?” His face looks infinitely sadder than it had a few minutes ago, before this conversation started. His eyes and cheeks had drooped, lips lowered in a grimace-like frown. “I’m just a normal guy, with an okay photography Instagram – _you_ ; you’re a world famous celebrity. You’re loved by practically a billion people!”

Dan sees the longing in Phil’s eyes. Maybe it’s the longing to fit into to Dan’s lifestyle or to understand it – maybe it’s longing to stay.

“Phil…” Dan says, voice of the same desperate pitch as it was before. He sits upright, duvet falling off from around his shoulders and pooling by his hips. He places a hand on Phil’s chest. “Don’t think like that, please. Ignore that I’m a celebrity – that’s how we met, isn’t it? Besides, no matter how famous either of us are, I love you, Phil. I love you so much, and nothing could ever change that. I may be famous, but I’m a _person_.”

“Thank you,” Phil replies, almost breathless. His eyes are watering at the edges. Blinking them behind his eyelids, he makes grabby-hands at Dan, who immediately snuggles into his chest. Cheeks against Phil’s heartbeat, Dan registers how fast it’s going. “I love you, too.”

 

+

Phil’s bedroom door peels open. It reveals Dan clung onto Phil’s wrist. Both their faces appear quite tired, but they’re both smiling widely, giggling as if on top of the world; invincible. The couple greet PJ good morning, as he sits on the couch, watching morning gossip shows. He can hear the two making breakfast together – jam on toast.

They settle themselves on the other side of the couch, Dan curled between Phil’s legs as there’s not a lot of room. Phil’s fingers twist around Dan’s curls, and Dan’s head rests underneath Phil’s chin. They laugh along to the TV, making jokes with PJ or whispering quietly to each other. It’s quite the spectacle, and PJ wonders if he’s ever seen a pair so in love.

It’s subtle, how much they love each other. But, it’s evident in the way Phil’s fingers gently run along Dan’s forearm, the way they whisper in each other’s ears, lips so close to the shell of their ear it almost hurts. The way every conversation turns into an in-joke, and every joke turns into fits of giggles and playful slaps to the arm. In the way Dan curls himself into any position just to fit into Phil’s body. The way Phil loosely grabs Dan’s fingers to lead him around the house. The way their irises blow just by hearing the other’s voice.

The topic on the TV changes from Taylor Swift to Dan Howell. Dan blushes bright red, hiding his face in Phil’s chest. Phil chuckles at Dan’s embarrassment as _All for You_ filters out and into the room. “Turn it off!” Dan cries, but Phil shakes his head, begging PJ to leave the channel as it is. Dan lifts Phil’s pyjama shirt and creeps his head underneath it, hiding away. Eventually, the women behind the desk stop talking about Dan and the brown-haired and red-faced boy slides out from his make-shift shelter.

Phil whispers something in his ear that makes a grin sew itself into Dan’s features, not leaving for minutes upon minutes later. PJ wonders what he said.

 

+

Dan and Phil sit on Phil’s bedroom windowsill, squished side by side, legs hanging over the edge. Dan’s large sunglasses adorn his cheeks, hiding the upper half of his face. Phil thinks it’s hilarious, his boyfriend’s pink cheeks squashed around the rims. The fresh morning air brushed gently through their hair, rising sun not doing much to shield them from the gentle chill in the temperature. Fingers interlocked, the two boys sit in a comfortable silence.

“You’re so lucky...” Dan says, out of the blue, “… To live here.” The boy lifts his head, looking up into the grey skies. The sun pokes out from a broken cloud, reflecting off the rim of his glasses. Through the dark shields, Phil can see his sparkling brown eyes, glancing longingly over the street below them.

“Lucky? This place is tiny – and very expensive.”

“Yeah, I know.” Dan doesn’t elaborate exactly why Phil is lucky to live in this apartment, but the look in Dan’s eye is telling enough. It feels like home – that’s why.

Dan’s phone buzzes to life, where it lay discarded on Phil’s bed. Snapped from his daze, Dan cranes his neck behind him to glance at his phone, but shrugs as he can’t see the notification. It buzzes again, and again, and again, before it’s almost buzzing non-stop. A look of worry sparks in Dan’s eyes and he excuses himself to check his phone. Anxious, Phil turns around on the windowsill to see what the fuss is about. Chewing on his fingernails, the curly-haired boy reads through his notifications.

“Is everything okay?” Phil asks, not moving from his seat.

Dan shakes his head minutely, right hand fidgeting with the hem of his t-shirt whilst he reads the messages on his phone. Phil leaps upward, glancing over Dan’s shoulder. Dan tilts the phone so Phil can see, too.

**Heidi: You haven’t messaged me lately. Are you at home?** _8:32 AM_

**Heidi: I’m coming over. I miss you :(** _8:47 AM_

**Heidi: DAN** _9:04 AM_

**Heidi: DAN, WHERE ARE YOU?** _9:04 AM_

**Heidi: DAN IF YOU DON’T RESPOND TO MY TEXTS RIGHT NOW** _9:05 AM_

**Heidi: ARE YOU AT A HOTEL? ARE YOU SAFE?** _9:05 AM_

**Heidi: DON’T TELL ME YOU SNUCK OUT AGAIN. I SWEAR TO GOD, DAN, WHERE ARE YOU?** _9:05 AM_

The one-sided conversation continues on like this for a while. Dan chews on his bottom lip. “I forgot to tell Heidi that I’d be at a hotel, or Zoe’s, or something. She didn’t know I was out. Oh, god.” He drops his head into his hands. Phil, unsure of what to do and suddenly very stressed, pulls Dan towards him, tucking Dan’s head into his chest and patting his hair down. Dan starts shaking, rambled words falling out of his mouth. “I’ve made a huge mistake. I have to confess now, where I am and who you are… Is-Is that okay?” He looks up at Phil, eyes watering.

“Can’t you call Zoe and ask her to pretend you’re there?”

Dan shakes his head, shaking slightly. “Heidi would have already called her – Zoe isn’t the best on-the-spot liar…”

Phil sighs gently, pulling Dan into a hug in attempts to calm him down. _I have to confess now, where I am and who you are…_ “Dan, of course that’s okay. Whatever makes you happiest and safest,” Phil replies, pecking the slightly shorter boy on the forehead. He doesn’t understand – not in the slightest; but he tries too.

Dan’s eyes go duller, lips pursed into a straight line. Tears that had threatened so spill over did just that, silent tears cascading down his cheeks. He shakes his head

“Phil, you don’t understand. It means we have to come out.”

“J-Just to Heidi?”

Dan shrugs, but a look of horrifically present worry sears through his eyes.

 

+

Phil looks concerned. He tells Dan he has no idea how they got to where they were, too in-shock to process the memories. Dan knows exactly what happened, remembering it all in intense detail, instead.

He called Heidi, and proceeded to fight with her over the line. PJ had tried to help Phil calm him down, but Phil seemed to be stressed, too, and wasn’t of much help at all (but Dan didn’t mind. He could cope on his own). Dan explained the situation, and they were ordered to report to the hotel, Dan in disguise.

Phil, trying not to speed down the road as he navigates to Dan’s hotel from the previous day, tries to calm himself down. Dan places his hand on Phil’s thigh, rubbing his thumb in small circles. Dan wants to tell him everything will be fine, but he’s unsure himself. After all, he doesn’t know what Heidi will want to do. He definitely doesn’t want Phil to be used as publicity, but Dan’s sure Heidi won’t make that happen.

He’d told Phil that they’d have to come out as a couple. Dan doesn’t believe this to be true, but it was better than telling Phil that they might have to break up. At the thought, Dan feels his eyes prickle with warm tears that slide down his cheek. Quickly, using his opposite hand, he wipes down his cheeks. He feels Phil spare him a worried glance, eyes burning into his temple for a few seconds, but Dan avoids his gaze.

Asking Phil if he looked unlike Dan Howell as he slipped his glasses on (and curly hair hidden underneath PJ’s beanie), the two make their way inside, Dan scurrying behind Phil to avoid any suspicion. Together, they step into the elevator and Dan pulls out his key card to fiddle with.

“Are you okay?” Phil asks, as it’s only the two of them.

“I don’t know. Are you?”

“I don’t know.”

Dan sends Phil a small, meek smile at this.

“We’ll be okay, right?” Phil asks, extending a hand out for Dan to grab.

Dan links their fingers together, squeezing Phil’s hand as the elevator dings at their level. He quickly releases as the metal doors slide open to reveal a long hallway. He sends Phil another smile, eyes crinkling at the corners, “We’ll be okay.” He hopes so.

Dan leads Phil down the long hall, and stops around halfway through in front of two doors. Sliding his key card, he unlocks the door to reveal a lush hotel room. Phil gasps, as Dan plonks himself on one of the couches, unpacked suitcase still upright beside the coffee table where he’d left it the day before. “Can I look around?” Phil asks, watching the world go by on the balcony.

“Before Heidi gets here,” Dan says, before deciding to join him on the ledge. A car honks it’s horn underneath them. Dan’s glasses are still on.

Phil says, “I’m worried.” His hand moves closer to Dan’s on the railing.

Dan says, “Me too.” His hand falls over Phil’s, warm and protecting.

Phil is stunned by the size of the bath, deep and long enough for two people. “Maybe we can use one together some day?” He smiles, lightly grasping onto his boyfriend’s forearm. Phil lends him a slightly sad look, and they both know Dan’s refusing to add _if all goes well today_.

After having a bounce on the ridiculously soft hotel mattress, Phil settles down beside Dan on the couch. Dan stares straight ahead, at the blank TV screen, thinking about everything. What would Heidi say? Would she make them come out? Would she make them break up? Phil’s clutching a fluffy pillow into his chest, calling out his name. “I’m just thinking,” Dan answers Phil’s unspoken question, _are you sure you’re okay?_

Glancing to Phil, he gives a timid smile, tucking a strand of his hair behind his ear, PJ’s beanie strewn on the coffee table. “I didn’t think it would come to this. I obviously didn’t think this all through,” he laughs softly, fiddling with his thumbs. Phil looks away, spotting something interesting in the kitchen, perhaps. He blushes a little, and his mouth is curled in a tiny frown. Dan hurries to correct his unfinished sentence, “I wouldn’t change it, if I could, though. These past months have been the best of my life,” Dan says, placing his hand on Phil’s knee.

Face shifting into a smile, Phil places his hand atop Dan’s. Heartbeat quickening in his chest, Dan grins. “We’ll be okay,” Phil says, tone wavering in the slightest, but otherwise sounding strong.

In brief silences interrupted by that very phrase, Dan thinks about what his life would be like after coming out. There’d be awful people saying cruel things about him, worse than they already do. He’ll be in the headlines for weeks and months. What were people going to think about his image, too? He’d always aimed for a rather cute and soft aesthetic – he didn’t need nay-sayers slapping slurs on his pink persona.

After precisely nine minutes and forty-two seconds of waiting (Phil told him this, later), there’s a knock at the door. Tentatively, Dan stands up and wobbles over to the door. Slowly, he turns the handle and pulls one of two doors open. Standing in the hall, with a handbag in the bend of her arm, clipboard poking out, and phone in the other hand, stands Heidi.

 

+

The look on her face is fiery and mad, frown scrunched along her lips. Her eyes betray her, however, filled with worry and care. Heidi asks to step forward, at the same time Dan asks her to come in. She blushes slightly, though maintaining her angry look, and struts into the room, heels clacking along the wooden floorboards. She throws her handbag onto the coffee table, directly in front of Phil. Tugging the bag a bit closer to her side of the coffee table, the woman sits herself on the opposite sofa. Dan sits down beside Phil, though a lot further than he had moments before.

“So,” she starts, almost glaring at Phil. “This is Phil?”

“Yeah. You met him on the night of the London concert,” Dan says, playing with his fingers.

“I know.” Tugging on her women’s blazer, she looks quite uncomfortable. “I’m sorry, Phil, about my conduct that night. I was rather rude, but I don’t believe today will be any better, after what Dan has told me so far.”

Phil nodded, and Dan sent him a weak smile.

“So,” Heidi says, addressing the both of them, but asking Dan, “Tell me the story. From the beginning.”

Dan immediately goes on a spiel about the day they met, the events before and after the concert, and the way he snuck out to Phil’s apartment, often. He neglected to hold back the previous night, in meeting Phil’s best friends. Phil watches Heidi’s face contort with the story, but the true tale ends on a rather mad looking note.

“You’re dating. Correct?” Dan and Phil nod simultaneously. “You’ve been sneaking out to see him?” She asks Dan. Dan nods. Phil nods to confirm. “You love him?” Heidi asks, pointedly looking at Phil. Phil nods again, blushing slightly. “That’s a bit of a surprise…” She mutters under her breath, and Phil doesn’t quite understand what she means. In the back of Phil’s mind, he wonders what Dan referred to him as, if he ever did. Especially on the night of the concert.

“Heidi, please, do whatever you want. Force us to come out, force us into hiding. Whatever! But, please, don’t break us up,” Dan says, desperate breaths wavering in the air.

Heidi is silent, lips pressed into a straight line. She stares at each of them respectively, glancing up and down their bodies. Her mouth slips into a small, barely visible smile. “I wouldn’t do that,” she whispers, a twinkling in her eye. She stands, placing her hands on her hips. Dan whips his head around, grinning at Phil. The happiness in his eyes and spread across his cheeks makes Phil wish he brought his camera, so he could record this pure delight. He’s amazed he caused this beaming smile to erupt on the pretty boy’s face. “But…” Dan and Phil both glance back to her.

“You should understand that now I know, I don’t want you sneaking around to Phil’s house, and going out and about in disguise,” she says, pulling out her clipboard. Dan’s jaw drops open, and he begins to argue. Phil worries that this means they’ll rarely get to see each other anymore. If Dan can’t go in disguise, how are they supposed to visit each other without the world finding out about him? “Don’t worry. I’ve devised a plan; you can still see each other.”

Dan huffs a deep sigh of relief, shuffling a little closer to Phil. Phil smiles.

“Dan told me you were a high school friend, Phil – which is obviously incorrect, but I’m right in saying you’re a photographer?” She asks, holding her pen to her clipboard. Phil feels like he’s being interrogated. He nods, and Dan compliments his works, and Phil’s cheeks go rosy. Heidi stifles a giggle, making the dark-haired boy feel even more embarrassed. “We’ll schedule a photoshoot with Phil. From there, we’ll pretend you became great friends. You’ll be seen leaving together, hanging out together, Phil will visit Dan’s house, etcetera. You don’t have to come out unless you want to – but you’ll still have to discuss with me if it ever comes to that. How’s it sound?”

“Can we talk about it?” Dan asks, hands gesturing between he and Phil. Heidi nods in affirmation, running off to the kitchen to make a tea while the couple confer.

If he was honest, Phil was terrified of being in the famous eye. Scared of paparazzi somehow finding his whereabouts (though, he doubted he would be under as much scrutiny from the public as his boyfriend was), scared of Dan’s passionate fan’s fiery jealousy. His work would get attention, though he wasn’t about to out himself as Dan’s new buddy for that reason; and besides – what if no one liked his photos, or him?!

Dan places his hands on Phil’s waist, pulling him from his thoughts. The pillow the older boy is still clutching in his arms is removed from his grasp, so Dan can hold his hands. “You’re nervous, aren’t you?” Phil nods, barely, and Dan’s fingertips slide over his knuckles comfortingly. Phil knows there’s no other way if he wants to stay with Dan (and he’d much rather become a bit famous than lose the only person he’s ever really loved romantically), but it doesn’t stop the beating in his heart. “We don’t have to, if you’re not ready,” Dan says, chewing on his lip. “But, I promise, you’ll get used to it. I’ll keep you safe, and I’ll get bodyguards – anything you need to make you feel protected. I promise you everything will be okay.”

“What if they don’t like me?” Phil asks, the same way a teenage girl would on her first day at a new school. He felt like that, too, in honesty. About to dive into a whole new world; one of uncertainty, cruelty, and celebrities. For a moment, Phil believes he’ll be fine, and then he fears he won’t, then Dan assures him he will.

“If they love you half as much as I do…” Dan says, reaching a hand up to cup Phil’s cheek, “You’ve got nothing to worry about.” With that, Dan tugs gently on Phil’s chin, and Phil voluntarily goes the distance to peck his lips against Dan’s. It’s an awkward kiss, interrupted by their own grins.

“Thank you,” Phil whispers as they press their foreheads together. Distantly, Phil hopes Heidi isn’t watching them – no one has ever seen them be so affectionate, unless one of his friends had caught them off guard the previous night, and he’s sure Dan wants to keep it that way.

“If ever you feel uncomfortable, just tell me, okay?”

After another moment, Heidi asks if she can come back to sit across from the two of them. “What do you say?” She inquires, hands clasped together. Her eyes are laced with worry and hope; surely, she must dearly love Dan. The sheer amount of effort she puts into making sure he’s safe and happy is astounding to Phil, she’s like a second mother from his third person perspective. That may not be how they feel about each other, but that’s definitely what it seemed like.

Dan looks to Phil, letting him have the final word. “Sounds great,” he smiles, and Dan’s face breaks into a grin.

“Oh, thank goodness,” Heidi sighs, palm clutching her chest in exasperation. “I’m so glad you’re happy with that plan; that was the only one that seemed to work for everyone…” Glancing up at the ceiling before shaking her head, she says, “Is there anything else I should know before we plan when to start Phil’s debut into celebrity life?” Shimmying her shoulders as she says it, she quirks an eyebrow. She must have suspicions.

Fidgeting with his fingers, Dan answers the question. “Ah… Yeah… It was my fault, so please don’t blame Phil, but, um, Phil’s friends know about me.” In the second that follows immediately after Dan finishes his sentence, Heidi’s face curls into a deep frown.

Lip twitching and face hot, she stutters, “W-What?” She stands from her seat on the sofa, arms crossed over her chest defiantly. “I thought you said you were safe? Please, Dan, tell me everything is okay? I can’t have you outed when you’re not ready!” She cries, pressing her fingers into her temple.

A sudden surge of confidence pushed through Phil’s veins. Maybe it was the urge to protect Dan, or to assure that his boyfriend was always safe in his watch. In circumstances like this one, Dan was always at risk. He wanted the boy to be safe, that was Phil’s only wish; so he stands up for himself and for his boyfriend and for their wellbeing.

“You don’t need to worry. I’ve discussed this with my friends, and everyone is keeping Dan in their best intentions. They’ve promised to keep everything – our relationship, Dan’s whereabouts – a secret. You can trust them; you can even meet them. Anything to prove that Dan is safe when he’s with me; I won’t let anything happen to him. Their meeting Dan and finding out about our relationship was an accident, we both should have been more careful.”

Heidi smiles softly, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “I trust you, don’t worry. And, it sounds like your friends are pretty nice, too.” She glances to Dan for confirmation, who nods excitedly. Pausing, she lifts her finger into the air as if she’s wondering what to say. “From what you’re saying, I gather you kept your relationship with Dan a secret, and you intended to until your friend’s accidentally found out?”

Phil nods, confirming her guess.

Heidi’s face splits into a grin, and together, the group of three form a plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed~  
> Please be patient in waiting for the new chapter. It can take any time from one week to a month. I hope that's okay~

**Author's Note:**

> hey hoo :) i'm really interested in feedback about this story! i'd really love to hear any opinions so please check out my tumblr @fivepixelphan or email me at glitchfics@gmail.com :D


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